“Dear Moms of one and two kids, with love from a mom of six.
Having one and two kids is HARD. In fact most moms of large families will tell you it was by far their hardest time. For most of us (most, not all) 3 is not as hard, shifts have already happened. One and two are like learning to drive a clutch. Three and four starts feeling a little more like cruise control. Five or more: well you’ve let go of the wheel, asked Jesus to take it, but most days it feels like the inmates, I mean kids, might be driving.
With baby number one: Your personal life shifts. You can’t just go do anything you want to, the moment you want to do it. You never realized the freedom you really had.
You are charting new and unknown waters every single moment of every single day.
You aren’t as confident. You must learn by doing. You improve by doing. Don’t worry though, you are exactly what your baby needs, yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
With baby number two: Your marriage, career and home are likely shifting. They say in a marriage you can argue about sex, money and kids. This starts becoming more and more of a reality. You are probably moving. You are probably figuring out if you are going to work or stay at home You may not have the choice. You are likely overwhelmed.
Advice: Ask for more HELP, from your spouse and others. SIMPLIFY, say no more and loosen the control/perfection reigns. Don’t think something is wrong with you because it’s hard. All things worth having are. Don’t think something is wrong with you if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Totally normal. Don’t think moms who have more kids are some form of unique superhero. All moms are their own form of superhero! Lastly, don’t assume a larger family means larger stress. I rarely see a correlation. It’s the people who don’t have a large family assuming this.
So:
Simplify
Take it one day, one step at a time.
Prioritize your mental and physical health.
You are a good mom and your unique version of mommy-ing is just what your kids need.
Don’t take too much advice from me or anyone else. The more people pretend to know, the less they may. The wisest people know we still have much to learn.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Bett. You can follow her on Instagram. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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