“We have been fighting lately, so it’s made me ponder a bit about marriage and I’ve realized a few things…
To be married or in a relationship you have to accept that you will not live a fairytale, you will not be a Snow White – there will be no one to kiss you that can resuscitate you to life when you’ve been living with 7 men.
Your relationship won’t be like your friends, whose partner picks organic flowers every Friday after he runs a bath but not before he massages his darling’s feet.
I’ve actually learned that marriage can be quite ugly.
It’s being forced to watch sports and pretend you’re interested because you see the happiness on their face when they talk about it.
It’s fighting over who deserves a sleep-in more and resenting the one who is asleep snoring.
It’s fighting over who hogs the covers (not me, obviously)
Marriage is mouthing “f you asshole” when they turn around.
It’s fighting over money and savings, and why you shouldn’t use credit cards because you lost track of spending (
===whatever dude)!
Yeah… Marriage is ugly and hard. You spend so much time with someone you see them when they’re angry, or sad, or never wrong and stubborn, when they cry and when they’re hurt. You see all that… and sometimes it makes you want to run for the hills.
But you stay, you stay because you love that there is a person who can show you all that and be their most vulnerable, and you still love them, that even when you’re the one who is being the stubborn asshole, they still love you.
And they love your happiness too, your joy, your smile, your stretch marks and your stinky farts… they love your quirky habits, the freckles on your face and that sometimes you laugh so hard that you pee yourself and even though you said some pretty mean things, they still are the person who you go to bed with at night, who you’ll message the next day with ‘milk please’ like nothing ever happened. It’s loving each other in the moments when you struggle to like each other.
My husband does not massage my feet. In fact, no one would, they’re hideous. There’re no organic flowers here every week either. However, when I’m angry with him, he does the dishes, when I’m swearing under my breath, he takes over dinner and bath time and when I’m sad and tell him I’m leaving to go to Italy to eat pray and love, he laughs and gives me a hug and kisses my forehead because he knows that’s what I need…
Marriage is finding the big things in the little things.
And even though you don’t have the fairytale and instead of noble steed he drives a minivan, you love that man… no, marriage isn’t beautiful, it isn’t easy, it isn’t perfect, it’s hard, and it’s love and it’s commitment and arguing about who put the dishes in the dishwasher all wrong, but it is amazing, and it’s something you work hard on every day because the reasons to go are few, but the reasons to stay are millions.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza of Mum on the Run, where it originally appeared. Submit your story here, and subscribe to our best love stories here.
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