‘From the funeral to the grave, the 1st-anniversary date to the 20th, the depth of the pain remains unchanged.’: Woman shares reality of grief, ‘there is no agenda for loss’

“They say to get through grief, ‘you must go through each of the seasons,’ and great loss makes you think about every interaction you’ve ever had. 

Each challenge, every triumph, every single season.

At first, you watch the people around you, just as desperate and confused. Then you will laugh at the stories, and no doubt, you will cry again. Knowing it’s the last time you’ll ever be with someone you love, you’ll whimper, scream, or even fall to your knees.

And you will again, and again.

Yet, as time goes on, you will discover even in the changing of seasons, with new perspectives coming each day, the immeasurable void remains entirely the same. From the funeral to the grave, the 1st-anniversary date to the 20th, the depth of the pain remains unchanged.

So with each season, you will rise and you will walk again. Until the next season that brings you to your knees.

Great grief doesn’t tire through just one year of seasons — it takes you, for the rest of them. It’s great love with no exit sign.

So, when they say ‘it takes a year of seasons,’ please understand saying ‘goodbye’ to someone you love for the last time, is also saying ‘hello’ to your new self for the first time. Because it is not just the final season of their life, but also the first season of the rest of yours.

The truth is, there is no agenda for loss. No timeframe for recovery, no amount of seasons that will make it different. There is only trusting in your heart that to have been afforded great grief, we were lucky to have first been afforded even greater love.

But you don’t just ‘get through it.’ As time goes on, you learn to accept the seasons of your heart, just as you have always accepted the changing of each season.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters  by Wallflower Writing at Detroit Moms. You can follow her journey on Instagram and her website. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Wallflower Writing here:

‘A vault of my secrets left when she did. Part of my history, too. I was as changed by her departure as I was bonded to her arrival.’: Woman shares grief journey after losing best friend

‘Motherhood isn’t about where you came from, but how you rise to the occasion.’: Mom shares appreciation for ‘warrior women’ in her life, grandma who stood in the gap

The Void Of Grief Remains, No Matter How Much Time Passes

‘Those long snuggles become short ones, and eventually, become history.’: Mom emphasizes importance of holding onto each moment with your children

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