‘Wedding rings are a symbol of ownership. We don’t wear them. I don’t identify with the word ‘wife.’: Married woman talks terms of marriage, ‘We are in a partnership’

More Stories like:

“My ‘husband’ and I decided to call each other ‘partners’ instead of ‘husband’ and ‘wife.’

My partner and I are as equal as you can get in household responsibilities as possible, without keeping actual score. Of course, there is no way to be truly equal.  We both share responsibilities for cooking, cleaning, parenting and work duties.

Of course we do find ourselves frequently fitting into gender roles, as most heteronormative couples will, but we don’t do those things in conflict with our individual identities. We both work for a company that we co-own. We share two beautiful children, a home, and various other property. When it comes to who is going to clean the toilet or take the trash out, it’s whoever notices it needs to be done first. I still make play dates with other moms: my partner hasn’t quite found a common community amongst dads. My partner still does the gross things, like kill bugs. I am a fully committed feminist, and I will kill a bug if I need to. However, I view a live-in bug killer as a perk of marriage, and I am going to take full advantage of that.

We don’t wear wedding rings. We haven’t for years. At first, it was just like an every now and then thing when I didn’t feel like wearing jewelry or left it in the kitchen after washing dishes. Over time, it became a symbol of ownership and possession.

Advertisement

Using the term ‘partner’ doesn’t out anyone. It’s an inclusive term which allows LGBTQ friends to feel more comfortable using the term without the fear of being outed.

Most religious texts use the term ‘wife’ as another form of property the husband owns. The husband is the boss, the husband is the provider. The father gives away the daughter (his property) to her husband to take care of. The woman is now the husband’s responsibility. The woman is the submissive who follows the husbands lead. I don’t feel like I identify with any of these things. Therefore, easy decision. There aren’t many definitions of the word ‘wife’ I personally identify with.

The term ‘partner’ puts me on equal grounds with my partner. We are individuals who are committed to each other and committed to loving each other exactly for who we are. We both work to keep our house running. We both carpool the kids and change diapers. We make decisions together. He does not own me, and I do not own him. I do not determine his happiness nor he mine. We are in a partnership.”

Courtesy of Brooke Cagle

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by D.H. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Advertisement

Read more stories about marriage equality here:

‘I have dinner cooked when he gets home. I fix his plate, then mine. No, I don’t live in the dark ages.’: Woman ‘serves’ her husband because she WANTS to, ‘and our marriage is amazing for it’

‘Our marriage isn’t 50/50. We don’t keep scoreboards. We love as much as you can, whenever we can. The rest will fall into place.’: Woman reminds us relationships are all about ‘recognizing needs’

Provide beauty and strength for others. SHARE this story on Facebook and Instagram with your friends and family.

Subscribe to our Living Better newsletter.

Your ultimate guide for actionable insights, evidence-backed advice, and captivating personal stories propelling you towards a more fulfilling life.

    Join our newsletter.

    Captivating stories. Actionable insights. Evidence-backed advice.

      Unsubscribe at any time.

      Copyright © 2025 Love What Matters. All Rights Reserved.
       Share  Tweet
      Logo

      Looks like your ad blocker is on.

      ×

      We rely on ads to keep creating quality content for you to enjoy for free.

      Please support our site by disabling your ad blocker.

      Continue without supporting us

      Choose your Ad Blocker

      • Adblock Plus
      • Adblock
      • Adguard
      • Ad Remover
      • Brave
      • Ghostery
      • uBlock Origin
      • uBlock
      • UltraBlock
      • Other
      1. In the extension bar, click the AdBlock Plus icon
      2. Click the large blue toggle for this website
      3. Click refresh
      1. In the extension bar, click the AdBlock icon
      2. Under "Pause on this site" click "Always"
      1. In the extension bar, click on the Adguard icon
      2. Click on the large green toggle for this website
      1. In the extension bar, click on the Ad Remover icon
      2. Click "Disable on This Website"
      1. In the extension bar, click on the orange lion icon
      2. Click the toggle on the top right, shifting from "Up" to "Down"
      1. In the extension bar, click on the Ghostery icon
      2. Click the "Anti-Tracking" shield so it says "Off"
      3. Click the "Ad-Blocking" stop sign so it says "Off"
      4. Refresh the page
      1. In the extension bar, click on the uBlock Origin icon
      2. Click on the big, blue power button
      3. Refresh the page
      1. In the extension bar, click on the uBlock icon
      2. Click on the big, blue power button
      3. Refresh the page
      1. In the extension bar, click on the UltraBlock icon
      2. Check the "Disable UltraBlock" checkbox
      1. Please disable your Ad Blocker
      2. Disable any DNS blocking tools such as AdGuardDNS or NextDNS

      If the prompt is still appearing, please disable any tools or services you are using that block internet ads (e.g. DNS Servers).