‘We got in a serious motorcycle accident. I laid on the road thinking, ‘If we’re seriously considering adoption, it’s now or never.’ As I waited for first responders, the calling felt so strong.’

“I felt excitement and anxiety all at once. Over the next month, we said yes to 5 situations. ‘What if we never get chosen?’ Then, my cell phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize. I began shaking. I called my husband. ‘Get your bags together. It’s time!’ But knew very well not to expect things to happen right away.”

‘I’m ok to keep repeating until I pass.’ This is my adopted brother. His mother died of lupus; his father has a new family now. He’d need to repeat 6th grade.’

“People question ‘why was he allowed to graduate with that kind of average?’ or ‘he is barely able to read and write, how did he pass?’ The thing is, he tried and kept trying. We never scolded him, never made him feel like he did not know anything. We never made him feel bad about himself.”

‘I’d be driving to work and see the ‘perfect’ tree to ram my car into. I stared at the railing upstairs, picking out the spot to hang from. I knew this was not normal, but it was my new normal.’

“It was a dreary day. I was standing by the window with tears streaming down my face. The kids were whining in the background. The house was a complete disaster. I was trembling and my knuckles were white from gripping the chair. My marriage was crumbling before my eyes.”

‘I was terrified something happened to the baby. He pulled me into my closet so neighbors couldn’t hear me screaming. My mom drove 3 hours in a snow storm to rescue me from him.’

“I found it scary how fast things were going, but I I loved him so much. I became pregnant shortly after meeting him. He vowed to protect us, love us, and always keep us safe. There was no doubt in my mind he was the one for me. Little did I know me becoming pregnant would awaken the monster within him.”

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