“So, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I wish I could tell you everything was fine the next day. That my feelings resolved themselves or my prayers were magically delivered to my doorstep. In fact, it was quite the opposite.”
‘If I did good at work, I felt like I was failing at home. Fighting between the two worlds broke my heart. I put on a mask of perfection. I felt like I was drowning and couldn’t come up for air.’
‘My husband wanted to take his motorcycle. He gave me a kiss and walked out the door. At 11:59 a.m. I got the call that changed my life. The nurse said, ‘Are you his wife? Meet me at the hospital.’
“I didn’t have a car seat for my nephew. I couldn’t leave. I called everyone I knew. My sister came home and said, ‘You need to go NOW.’ When I arrived, I saw a security guard outside the front doors of the ER. I walked up. My head was spinning.”
‘One random afternoon, I got a text from my husband. It’s bad. I thought, ‘Will I be a widow?’ I should’ve been at home breastfeeding. Instead, I was meeting with geneticists.’
“I couldn’t leave the kids alone with him. He couldn’t drive. No pick-ups, no drop-offs. Resentment built between us. We were told our children had a 50% chance of getting it too. All we could do was wait, and watch, and worry. It was too much to comprehend.”
‘I need to talk to you. Please.’ My best friend sat me down. I knew she did something really wrong. ‘Promise you won’t hate me.’: Woman goes through ‘friendship breakup’ after cheating scandal, urges ‘love is always stronger’
“My heart dropped. All I could muster was, ‘What?’ She tried to hold my hands, but I pulled away. ‘We can’t choose who we love!’ It was surreal to take in. I pictured her in my future. Now I can only tear up thinking about it.”
‘My perfect baby girl was laying on my bare chest. I spoke lies to myself. ‘I’m fine.’ Everyone told me this was ‘part of being a new mom’ and ‘just a lack of sleep.’ This was not a phase.’
“Everything was so perfect. The possibility of anything being ‘wrong’ was just too much of a stretch. Stifling the tears, I clamped my eyelids shut. I had no idea that hours later I would be sitting on the floor, waiting to die.”
‘She started breaking into my room, forcing her way in, terrifying me. I was yelling at her to leave me alone, asking her, ‘haven’t I been through enough?’ I saw no way out.’
“He is biting me again!’ She turned around and pushed him and yelled, ‘YOU CAN’T BITE HER!”
‘Mommy is sick and needs to go to the doctor.’ I begged them to admit me to a psych ward. ‘You don’t fit the criteria,’ I was told. It was a hard pill to swallow. So, I admitted myself.’: Mom urges ‘it’s totally okay to ask for the damn help’ when struggling with mental illness
“I didn’t know what to expect. I thought, ‘Where am I sleeping? Should my kids come visit? Can I get fresh air?’ I remember feeling like a lab rat. The doors were locked and I needed to be buzzed in and out. One day when eating, I felt a presence. It was him.”
‘I got a call from a strange number. I immediately trembled. Inside I was screaming, ‘Answer the phone! It’s her!’ Then came a voice I’ve waited my whole life to hear. ‘Hello, is this Heather?’
“The floodgates opened and all I could do was cry. I had gone over this conversation in my head a thousand times, but I couldn’t get a single word out. I had so many questions. Up until this point, I kept it a secret from my dad. I was afraid of him getting hurt.”
‘Where is she?!’ There was no time to call for help. With one forceful kick, the lock snapped. I ran around the house, my mind racing. Then, I opened her bedroom door.’
“My body was in complete panic. A high-pitched ring pierced my ears. I held her in my arms. This wasn’t part of the plan. This was supposed to be her fresh start.”
‘I said I was going to the lounge. ‘I’ll be back .’ I took about 10 steps. That’s when I heard. Heavy footsteps. Then they sped up.’: Woman survives attack, reminds people to ‘be smart, be safe’
“His arms wrapped around me and he started pulling me into an unlocked maintenance room. This man thought he killed me, but he failed. How do you explain to your kids, ‘Mommy is coming home, but I don’t look like myself?'”