“There was no gender reveal party. No elaborate showers. I didn’t take as many photos. We didn’t spend every waking moment reading all the books. I wondered how on earth my heart could ever be big enough, how I could manage to divide my time and energy and love equally enough.”
‘You were second. With you, it was different. The worries of a first-time mom faded. You didn’t make me a mother. But you sure made me a better one.’
‘My son got trapped. The car mysteriously locked. He was strapped into a car seat in 100-degree heat, screaming hysterically. I paced in place. The only way to free him was to break a window.’
“My heart stopped. It took the firefighters an unreasonably long to arrive (light years in mom panic mode). My son’s hairdresser came racing to the scene. And then there was a random mom who stopped and stayed with me. My husband made it in record time across town.”
‘The precious time I should’ve had with my newborn was stolen from me. My patience was tried, my marriage tested. I was at rock bottom with no way up. I needed to prove I was a good mom.’
“The village you need to raise a baby felt more like a ghost town. I had no clue what I was doing. There was endless crying, anxiety so severe I didn’t leave the house, stretch marks, flab, puffiness. I despised it all. All I could think was, ‘It has to be better than this.'”
‘BABE. Something’s wrong with the baby!’ He flew down the stairs without touching a step. I just screamed, and screamed some more.’: Mom loses daughter to SIDS, urges us to ‘live each day like it’s our last’
“Jaymie was still and floppy. I grabbed her and started touching her face, opening her mouth, looking for any sign of what was wrong with my little girl! I remember opening my balcony doors, seeing the air ambulance, and screaming again. The police entered my home and I curled into a ball on the kitchen floor as they announced the time of death. What the hell was I hearing? I wrapped her in her Peppa Pig blanket and just stared, hoping and praying she’d just look up and smile at me. But no. She was gone.”
‘We connected on a dating app. I swiped right. The man was gorgeous, but 20 years younger. I agreed to meet him for a drink, but grew suspicious.’: Woman recalls losing the younger man she loved
“This all seemed too good to be true. I kept my guard up. When I went to his Facebook page to check his relationship status, I found something else. I sat up in bed and stopped breathing. I stared at my phone. ‘No,’ I cried. The words came out of my mouth as though someone else was saying them.”
‘I woke in such incredible pain. All I wanted to do was see our new baby. It’s hard to explain the first time you see your child this small. The first half hour I cried because I feared so much for his life.’
“My doctors took Dylan out as quickly as possible and focused on saving me. I had lost a 3rd of my blood and needed a hysterectomy. I had a 5 hour surgery after Dylan was whisked away to the NICU.”
‘I got the test results. I felt I let my husband down. Like I somehow failed to give him the ‘perfect’ baby. The silence was deafening. I kept thinking, ‘Why me?’ Then I thought, ‘Wait, why NOT me?’
“I had a woman sob in my arms out of sympathy. I remember telling my husband, ‘Do you think we’ll ever laugh or be happy again?’ I figured I had 3 choices. Give up, give in, or give it everything I’ve got. I had a little boy growing inside me who I needed be strong for. I went with option 3.”
‘She’s fat. It’s a good thing she’s nice. Otherwise, no one would pay attention to her.’ They both giggled and left the restroom. I stayed in the stall, frozen. I knew I needed to blend in.’
“I became aware that I was different from the other perfect, small, blonde girls. So, I hid my glasses, grew my hair out, and started dressing better. I realized I needed to walk tall, shift my shoulders back, and smile to draw any and all attention away from the rest of my body.”
‘To get 2 children, I gave up 2. Creating a baby lost all allure. I was on a mission, detached from the actual act. Every app told me when to breathe, when to baby make. I couldn’t feel joy. It was all fear.’
“I found some elaborate way to share the news with my husband. The handcrafted note around our dog’s neck read, ‘Surprise! You’re going to be a father!’ Then a few weeks later, surprise you’re not. By the 3rd pregnancy, there was no special announcement. I didn’t buy a single item, not even a bib. How could I?”
‘WHO DID IT? Is it true?!’ My mom stormed into my room, filled with rage. I looked into her eyes, and lied.’: Rape survivor vows to protect daughter after generations of abuse, ‘She will not know this darkness, it stops now’
“My mom stormed into my room. ‘Is this true?’ Her face was red. Confused, I looked her in the eyes and lied. I really wanted her to know. For her to hug me and tell me it was okay. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized it wasn’t normal.”