“Tears rolled down my face. I went to lie down again and the entire sequence replayed itself. I could hardly believe it. Just like that, we transitioned from ‘recently married’ to ‘patient and caregiver’ and there was no stopping it. We began writing funeral plans.”
‘We were celebrating 3 years of marriage. I thought life couldn’t get better. Then, I got news no one wants to hear.’: Woman battling sarcoma cancer thanks husband for support, ‘It’s the most beautiful love I’ve ever known’
‘Today, I failed miserably as a mom. There was yelling, crying. My broken mom heart gave up. I worried I couldn’t turn the day around or pick up where we left off. Then, I tried something.’
“I fled. We fled. I had to turn and walk away before verbally wounding the child that just wounded me. I packed up the kids and bonus child. I could feel my heart rate calming as we came to the top. The day ended so much more peaceful than it began.”
‘Today, I witnessed someone tell a mother of 4, ‘You must really have your hands full.’ I winced. There was nothing positive about it. She half smiled, walked away. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.’
“To others, her kids are work. But they are so much for than that. What could’ve been said to to this mom that would’ve not left her with a half smile, but actual joy in her heart? I realized that only ONE word in the statement had to be changed.”
‘I was out at a restaurant. ‘I’m not feeling well,’ I said. I knew something was wrong. Shaking, I excused myself and drove straight home. When I got back, my world crumbled around me.’
“I crawled to the bathroom. I couldn’t stand up without blacking out. I was paralyzed. I was supposed to be getting ready to go off to college with friends and I suddenly found myself unable to get out of bed. The wheelchair made others roll their eyes. ‘You don’t need that,’ they said. ‘Faker.’
‘I kept thinking, ‘If I make more money than my husband, he won’t want me anymore.’ Why was I so afraid? I thought it was normal to fight about money.’
“I remember always being alone in my room, barbies in hand, my parents screaming profanities at each other. ‘Where is all the money? How could you have spent it all?!’ My dad had an expensive drug habit that kept him awake for work. As a child, I learned that money meant I was invisible.”
‘I was in an abusive relationship. She was a lesbian with a man she didn’t love. I was falling for her. One day, she strolled up to me, a grin on her face. ‘I want to be with you.’
“I was shocked, confused, taken aback. I’d never been with a woman before. I stammered, stuttered, and turned into a blubbering mess. I listed all the reasons why it wouldn’t work. I was scared to admit my feelings. Then my mom told me something I’ll always remember.”
‘I told him I wasn’t ready to have a baby with him. He didn’t care and messed with my birth control. ‘We’re going to be together for the rest of our lives,’ he said. Needless to say, I got pregnant.’
“Things started to take a darker turn. I wasn’t allowed to go outside alone. He spread lies to my friends and family. When I gave birth, he wouldn’t let me see my child. He called 911 saying I was a danger to the baby. He got full custody.”
‘I was the ‘closet Diet Mountain Dew drinker.’ I was MAD he left me. To be honest, I was a HOT MESS. I fought back.’
“He often told me, ‘You are too damn feisty.’ Well, I knew I had to stand up for myself. For almost 19 years I picked my battles.”
‘It was my daughter’s birthday. I was sitting, my feet in the river. I heard a yell. ‘She’s in the water!’ I turned. She was completely under water, face down. Pure panic went through my mind.’
“Rylee wanted to get closer to the other kids and went forward on the step more than she should have and slipped in. She was completely engulfed. I could see about half an inch of the top of her head. Without hesitation, I dove in after her. The current was taking her away rapidly. I could barely keep my head above water.”
‘My kids were accidental. I never wanted to be a mom. I don’t enjoy playing with my kids. I don’t like being touched or needed.’: Mom recalls struggles of motherhood before finding ‘beautiful love’ in children
“Every single day, I feel resentment, sadness, frustration. I reminisce about my lost freedom. The days I would wake up with energy, pull out my to-do list, and get everything done. The days when I could hop in the car and run a quick errand, take a nap, or shower whenever I wanted. The days I could set BIG goals and actually attain them.”