‘The ache in my heart starts around the holidays. I know I am being ‘watched.’ I’m actually afraid everyone will think I have moved on and forgotten my son.’: Bereaved mom navigates grief during the holidays

“Everyone asked if we were doing anything special in honor of Alex on the first anniversary of his death. I refuse, to this day, to call it an anniversary. It is the day our lives changed forever. Anniversaries are for celebrating. So I just call it the day Alex died.”

‘Does it look too big?’ Our perfect, happy, healthy baby boy had a belly full of tumors. Cancerous tumors.’: Mom’s newborn diagnosed with Neuroblastoma, says ‘every little moment’ with loved ones is a ‘reason to celebrate’

“When our pediatrician comes back in, I see fear on her face. I feel the air leaving my lungs, my chest feels so heavy. She tells me his liver and spleen are enlarged, so enlarged the radiologist who read his X-ray asked, ‘How sick is this baby?!’ He’s not sick at all! He’s smiling and laughing, he’s perfect. I rush toward the elevator, a literal sobbing mess. How did I not know this? I thought I knew shock and devastation. I had no idea.”

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