‘My daughter changed her profile picture. After 5 minutes I get a text. ‘I didn’t know she was dating a black boy, did you?’: Woman recounts unexpected racist interaction

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“Today my daughter changed her profile picture. After maybe 5 minutes I get a text …’ I didn’t know she was dating a black boy, did you?’

It took me all day to think up a response, which I didn’t send personally but thought I would share for anyone else that ‘may not know’.

Yes in fact I did know, but the color of his skin doesn’t define who he is. What does define who is he is how he treats my daughter.

I see my daughter dating a boy that comes to my house and shows me nothing but respect (a big deal in my book). It’s always Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am, we talk about football and baseball, he tells me bye when he leaves, and has not once shown me a lack of manners or respect.

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I see my daughter dating a boy who treats her good. He takes her on dates, to ballgames, out to eat… not to a club or partying on the weekends.

I see my daughter dating a boy who takes her to church with him. Every Sunday. He plays in the band, she sits with his family. How many young men these days make church a priority? None of the others have.

He doesn’t hit her, cuss her, lie to her, or make her cry. Would I rather her date a white boy that did, to keep from her dating another race? Absolutely not.

So that’s my response to the question I was asked. And I know people have their own opinion, but at the end of the day, the fact that my daughter has someone that loves her and treats her like a queen makes me happy. That’s something I’ve never had in my life and I’m glad she does.”

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Boyfriend and girlfriend of different races stand smiling in parking lot with arms around each other
Courtesy Heather Boyer

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Heather Boyer. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here, and subscribe to our best stories in our free newsletter here.

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