Dear Established School Moms: Please Invite The New Mom Into Your Circle

“To the established school moms of older kids – invite the new school mom in.

For a chat, to be part of the circle at pick up, during social events….make some small talk and welcome her to the group.

Same story, different setting, every day. There are chances.

I see you all, meeting and greeting at a local coffee spot after drop off, pouring life into one another.

I see you with your younger children, sipping fancy lattes and chatting about summer vacation trips you took, catching up like old friends.

I see one or two of you with kids my daughter’s age and in her class, who recognize me and manage a ‘Hi’ and a nice smile as I walk past one…two…three times with my young son in a stroller.

I see the rest of you, the ones I know from word of mouth, look my way, then look right back to your cozy, familiar chat circle.

Same story, different setting, every day. Don’t waste your chance.

Do you remember what it was like?

Do you remember being the new school mom, with a child on his or her first day at the new school, both mama and kiddo nervous and excited for what lies ahead?

Do you remember feeling like an outsider, watching everyone around you socialize with adult friendships already made and established, managing a smile so your son or daughter would feel confident, too?

Do you remember standing there alone with your spouse, standing alone at drop off, alone at pick up, walking away alone, ever wishing someone would talk to you?

Do you remember ever running by chance – alone – into a group of those same established school moms at a local café, hoping they would invite you to chat? But they didn’t.

Same story, different setting, every day. Chance wasted.

Breaking into a tight knit circle is hard.

Being the new school mom and child is hard.

Finding your place is hard.

Hoping your child makes friends easier than you are without guarantee is hard.

Making mom friends who ‘get it’ is hard.

To be vulnerable with new faces is hard.

Much harder from the outside than from the inside.

In a world with so much negativity and exclusivity, finding acceptance in a tight knit small school community is the hope.

In a world where mom shaming is so real and frequent, lift one another up, even with a smile and a, ‘How’s your kid liking school?’

In a world where we’ve been isolated from one another by chance and by choice, in so many ways, connect with someone new – chances are they’re feeling the same way you do.

Invite the new school mom in. That small gesture may not make your day, but sure will make hers.

Goodness knows when this introverted mama establishes herself, my eyes will be on those new school moms, ready to invite them in.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by a woman who wishes to remain anonymous. Submit your own story here.

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