“I said to my husband tonight, ‘I have to tell you something.’
His face was like, ‘I went to Hobby Lobby during my lunch break today and bawled my eyes out.’
It’s true.
I stood right in front of these trees and started crying when I heard the acoustic version of ‘O’ Holy Night’ playing over the speakers.
This year, I’m not complaining that it’s too early to see all the decorations.
I need some dang Christmas cheer. We all do.
So, there I stood. The tough chick. The one who takes no sh*t… in my hat, sunglasses, and mask… bawling in a Christmas aisle at Hobby Lobby.
I don’t know whether it was exhaustion, sadness, or happiness, but I was in the middle of a full-on breakdown.
I’m excited for my favorite time of year.
I need to live vicariously through my children.
I need to hug and squeeze my family.
I want to binge eat my favorite holiday foods.
I want to watch the snow fall.
I want to watch ‘Home Alone’ and the ‘Santa Clause’ over and over.
I want to listen to Judy Garland’s ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ on repeat.
I want to drink hot chocolate in front of the fireplace.
I want to stare at the Christmas tree lights until midnight.
I want to bake and decorate cookies.
I want to go to Midnight mass.
I want to toast beers with my husband while we wait for Santa.
I even want to hang out with our family’s elf.
I want to do all the things we do during the most magical time of the year.
Because 2020 has brought us nothing but hurt, disappointment, sadness, and confusion.
I need all the things that are good in this world.
As I stood in front of those beautifully lit trees, I was reminded there is always hope. Once we choose hope, anything is possible.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Amanda Goodman. You can follow her journey on Facebook. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
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