“Timmy and I met at a friend’s house when I was 16. We became great friends before thinking about being anything more, but every day we seemed to gravitate towards each other. We ended up spending whole days together which soon became weeks and then months. Honestly, I don’t think he ever asked me to be his girlfriend. We were your typical high school sweethearts living what we thought was the dream, until we got pregnant at a young age with our first daughter.
I gave birth to her at 17, after only being with Timmy for a year. At our ages, we had to grow up overnight which was stressful juggling a newborn, school and a job, but we made it through all the ups and downs of being teenage parents and overcoming a lot. We knew we wanted more kids without having a huge age gap between them so we planned for Lexi. I knew from the moment I saw her she was special. She had the perfect smile with one dimple and when she smiled her whole face smiled!
As the years went by, growing older and adding the stress of adult life made things get rocky between Timmy and me. We decided it was best if we separated and find ourselves as adults. We spent all of our teenage years together and with having a child at such a young age, we never really experienced anything else besides each other. We always remained very civil to each other. Sure, we had our fights and bickering, but there was never a time we didn’t get along for the kids. We never wanted them to have a childhood they had to recover from. Most children’s problems stem from what is happing at home so we tried to keep it as professional as possible when it came to our children.
After a few months of being separated I became pregnant with my third child. This time it was a boy with another person who honestly didn’t care to be a part of his life. Being the amazing human Timmy is, he was there for me wiping my tears as I cried to know I was bringing a life into the world and that the man who fathered him couldn’t care less. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I never had to experience this situation previously because Timmy was always there for the girls without a doubt. He never left our sides. Timmy saw how scared I was and how emotional I had become about it and he was there to lift my spirits to let me know everything would be ok. That OUR son would have a family that loves him and we’ll never treat him differently! To hear him say OUR son that day, in that moment, made me feel all the feelings I had been missing for so long. To know Timmy was willing to accept my son as his and raise him as his own without a second thought made me fall completely in love with him all over again. I knew watching him hold our son for the first time that this was the man God made for me! I feel like our son was the gift God gave us to bring us back together. He saw how hurt I was and said he couldn’t let me do this alone. He never left my side since that day!
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Fast forward a year and we’re building our lives as a family again, enjoying each other and enjoying the kids as they grow into their personalities. Lexi, my youngest daughter, has always been very emotional. She’s always been able to connect her emotions to the situation she’s in. To be 6-years-old and have the emotions she has, it truly amazes me. If someone got hurt Lexi was always first on the scene rubbing their back, checking their boo boos, making sure they’re ok. If it was your birthday Lexi was always the first one to hug you and sing ‘happy birthday’ to you! She also adapts to everyone’s emotions around her which most kids don’t understand, but Lexi does.
When Timmy asked me to marry him, I knew this would be the best thing for our family because our kids were all at great ages to be a part of something so special to us. We planned our wedding for a year and there wasn’t a time when Lexi wasn’t there helping me. She was there to tell me the flowers I wanted were beautiful, to crying with my mom when seeing me in the dress I picked out. She was so excited about her mom and dad’s wedding she actually had a countdown. She knew her last day of school was 2 days before mom’s wedding and she reminded her teacher about every day. I knew this day was important to her! But I wouldn’t realize just how important until I got my wedding photos back.
The day finally arrived. I was with my bridesmaids and my phone rang and it’s of course my Lexi Loo telling me, ‘The day is here! It’s wedding day mommy!’ She was so happy. We all got to the venue and when I saw my kids all dressed and ready to go, all my emotions started pouring out which of course started Lexi’s emotions – she was wiping my tears and telling me how beautiful I was and how much I mean to her and that I’m her favorite, only mommy, as she says! I’m doing the same to her as she’s telling me this. She couldn’t stop staring at me and telling my how pretty I looked!
During the ceremony I could tell she was crying but I couldn’t actually see her standing behind me. I only heard the whispers of everyone saying, ‘Look at Lex,’ ‘Oh she’s crying, how sweet,’ so I knew she cried during the ceremony, but I didn’t know exactly why. When I got a sneak peek of my wedding photos, there was this beautiful picture of Lexi crying big, beautiful tears as we said ‘I do.’ After wiping my tears I asked her, ‘Lexi, why were you crying in this picture?’ She responded, ‘Mom, it was because everything was just so beautiful.’ I cried even more because to be 6 years old and have such an emotional connection to something so important to me and my family — and to actually understand she was crying because she was happy for mom and dad and not just crying because everyone else was — made me realize how important this day was for my children. Not just for Timmy and me, but for our family!
That pure emotion on Lexi’s Face is proof how important it was to her for her mommy and daddy to finally get married after all these years. This was something well worth waiting for because I couldn’t imagine my wedding day without my children to share it with. Lexi is seriously an old soul. I like to tell people she’s her aunt Kelly (Timmy’s sister who passed away when Lexi was 9 months old). She was the same way. Kelly cared about everyone more then she cared about herself. Lexi is so genuine at such a young age it’s hard to fathom she’s only 6 at times because of the way she understands situations and connects to them. It’s unreal.
We never know how much we affect our kids, good or bad, but this is raw proof that they feed off us as parents and their emotions are very real at times. She was so genuinely happy for her mommy and daddy to get married – pure happiness all over her face!
People have asked me how it feels to be married, and honestly nothing has changed besides my last name. But I’m finally at peace. For the first time in 10 years, everyone in my house has the same last name. Some people may not think of that as a huge deal but for me, I know that means a lot to my kids. I no longer have to tell them why my last name is different or explain to them why I wasn’t a Gibson but everyone else was. I can finally buy that sign that’s says ‘Gibsons’ for my front door like every other married family has. I can finally have that huge wedding canvas on my wall for everyone to see when they come into my home and for my kids to grow the rest of their lives and see that as well.
I hope it’s a reminder for our children all throughout their lives that real love is still alive and well because their daddy means the world to me, and without him we wouldn’t have the beautiful family we have today. As for Lexi, I know this is what she needed. Maybe this made up for the confusion of why mommy and daddy weren’t together for a while, or maybe this was just pure happiness coming from such a tiny soul. I’ll never know the full truth behind her emotions on my wedding day, but I can say she isn’t your average 6-year-old. She was connected in that moment, simply so happy. In her words, ‘Everything was just so beautiful mommy!’”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Jenni Gibson, 26, of Des Moines, Iowa. Submit your own story here, and subscribe to our best stories in our free newsletter here.
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