‘She was struggling to feed her kids. ‘You can get another job, but you can’t get a life back. Quit whining and be thankful you’re not part of the death toll.’: Woman says ‘it’s okay to mourn and struggle with change’

“This morning I woke up to fighting on my Facebook feed. It’s been this way for two weeks now.

Constant flow of bad news, death tolls. Someone making a mockery of the virus or comparing it to the flu, while most others urge us to wash our hands and keep a safe distance away. But I also see the fighting. The mean comments. The comparing and belittling.

This time it took the form of a mother posting about having lost her job due to the coronavirus pandemic. She was struggling to feed her kids. Right there, in the comments, was someone who replied, ‘You can get another job, but you can’t get a life back. Quit whining and be thankful you or no one in your family are part of the death toll.’

My heart broke.

When did we decide it was okay to pit each other’s struggles against each other? When did we decide it was okay to compare each other’s grief?

It’s okay for someone to mourn the loss of their job.

You don’t know the financial struggles they are going through just to put food on the table. It’s more than just a job.

It’s okay for someone to mourn the loss of their baby shower.

You don’t know how many negative pregnancy tests or miscarriages they suffered to get to this point. It’s more than just a baby shower.

It’s okay for someone to mourn the loss of their freedom.

You don’t know the mental health struggles they were already battling before being cooped up. It’s more than just loss of freedom.

It’s okay for someone to mourn the loss of their graduation day.

You don’t know what it means to be the very first member of a first-generation family to earn a degree. It’s more than just the loss of a graduation day.

It’s okay for someone to mourn the loss of their wedding.

It’s okay for someone to mourn the health of their business.

It’s okay for someone to mourn the loss of comfort.

It’s okay to mourn.

It’s okay to struggle with change.

It’s natural. It’s biology. It’s human.

It doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about the death toll.

It doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about the thousands of nurses and doctors risking their lives.

It doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about the at-risk elderly or immunocompromised.

Don’t take things out of context.

And let us remember that it is always kindness and support that binds humanity together.

Let us continue to show compassion during this time, and check in on one another, regardless of the circumstances.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Pam L. Rutherford. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read about amazing acts of kindness during the coronavirus pandemic:

‘I put down my window. She handed me a bag and said, ‘We want to thank you for what you’re doing. You and all truckers working hard to keep our supply lines open.’: Truck driver ‘touched’ by stranger’s act of kindness during pandemic

‘Every night, we create these letters for hospice patients and nursing home residents who aren’t allowed visitors right now.’: Family share acts of kindness for ‘lonely’ elderly during pandemic

‘My family and I live check by check. ‘The lady in front of you wanted you to have this.’ I’m pregnant and super emotional as it is. I start bawling my eyes out in line.’: Woman thanks stranger for act of kindness, ‘There are still great people in this world’

‘An older gentleman stopped us and asked, ‘Do you know how to make a cheese sandwich?’ He was veteran, and he didn’t know how to cook.’: Woman urges ‘don’t forget the Marks in the world who need you to say hello’

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