‘She was 50 pounds lighter. She looked like she had it all, but was an absolute wreck inside.’: Woman loving life 50 pounds heavier, ‘I sleep next to a man who loves the soul within my body’

“Same flesh, but two very different souls…

2014

She was beautiful.

She was 50 pounds lighter.

She wore a full face of makeup everywhere she went.

She had a cute haircut that complimented her sassy personality.

She was beginning her journey at the University of Kentucky, unsure of what she wanted to do.

She walked to class day after day conscious of how she carried herself — hoping to draw attention from the athletes.

She was successful.

She went on dates with basketball and football players — ones whose motives were blatantly clear.

She didn’t care.

She’d come home from another expected night of being taken advantage of and destroy herself — she was too fat, too quiet, too loud — too much, yet not enough.

She fell into the arms of men who only loved the body that she hated.

She looked like she had it all together, but was an absolute wreck inside.

She knew of Jesus, but didn’t know Jesus.

She was oblivious to a transformation in the works.

2019

I’m still beautiful.

And I’m 50 pounds heavier.

Makeup is scarce — my skin is a lot healthier.

I’ve got long hair that stays in a bun on the top of my head.

I just finished my journey at the University of Kentucky; I found Jesus there and I found a passion for education in the process.

I walk through the woods of Kentucky, conscious of how I carry myself — hoping to draw attention to the One who brought my messy heart redemption.

I mess up daily, but Jesus loves me anyway.

I go on dates with my husband, who craves to know me more and more with each passing day.

I want to know him, too.

I come home from another expected night of my husband loving me in an Ephesians chapter 5 type of way — and I start to see myself the way he sees me.

At night, I sleep next to a man who only loves the soul within the body that I now love.

I painfully acknowledge that I am a wreck, but I am a wreck that is beautiful and redeemed because I know Jesus.

My eyes are not unaware of how He changed everything.”

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This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Kayah Roper. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

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