‘SEX after kids. I can count on 2 hands the number of times we had sex the first year after the triplets were born. Okay, probably just 1 hand.’

“SEX after kids.

How accurate is this?! I’m pretty sure I can count on two hands the number of times we had sex the first year after the triplets were born. Okay, I might be exaggerating, probably just one hand. When it came to sex or sleep, sleep ALWAYS won (and sometimes still does). And then there was the first time we had sex since my delivery. O M G. I wish I could tell you it was romantic, but, well it wasn’t. I was knee deep in my postpartum struggles, exhausted, and pretty nervous about the whole sex after childbirth thing.

Did I mention it hurt?

Here we are 9 years married, and 3 years into parenting, and I can tell you sex takes so much more intention than it ever has before. We both have to do our part to be intentional about connecting intimately. And it doesn’t always mean sex. Sometimes it means connecting with a kiss, hug, or smack on the bootie and flirty exchange. And for me, my day is always so crazy and so busy that sometimes even in the middle of the chaos, I just need the touch of my husband, to be reminded that he thinks I’m sexy and beautiful (hot mess and all), that he wants me even if it’s in the form of a hug and a ‘you look beautiful.’

Sex was certainly way easier pre-kids. You could have it whenever and wherever you wanted. And now it’s usually more planned, in the car after a date-night, or late at night when you have no energy left. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun, sexy, and romantic.

Our lives change dramatically when you have children. And sex, sex changes too. But it can be whatever you make it to be. So go be sex-intentional after those babes are in bed and have some planned sex tonight!”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Desiree Fortin of California. You can follow her journey as a mom of triplets on Instagram.