‘Parenting is a woman’s burden. If the house isn’t clean, it’s a mother’s fault. If a mother wants to have drinks, she should be responsible. If Dad wants to, it’s OK.’: Wife grateful for husband who ‘assists in this parenting journey’

“Despite the amazing parent my husband is and despite the fact that we have a partnership, he will never carry the burden that I do.

Parenting is a woman’s burden.

If the house isn’t clean, it’s a mother’s fault.

If you chose the wrong school for your child, it’s a mother’s fault.

If a mother wants to have a few drinks, she should be responsible. If dad wants to, it’s okay.

Dads babysit (so I’m told every time I leave our children with my husband), while we mothers look after their children.

If a mother wants to enter the workforce, continue her career, or have the job she studied for, she is punished.

She is considered selfish, neglectful or self-serving. Men? Nope. They’re go-getters.

Mothers receive the eye rolls and death stares for leaving early when she has to go pick up a sick child.

Or we are looked at as a lazy employee when we leave for the school pick up.

I am lucky I have a husband who assists in this parenting journey as much as I do… who picks up the kids and leaves early if I can’t get there quick enough. People are often surprised we do it this way. ‘Must be nice to have a husband who helps,’ they will tell me.

I am also lucky to have an employer who understands… but I shouldn’t be considered lucky.

We ask women to do it all, but we don’t pay them or acknowledge when they do. And the truth is, men are rewarded for any amount of parenting they do, which in turn makes us mothers feel like we are the problem, like we are failing our kids and failing at our jobs.

If we aren’t treated as if we are the burden, we are otherwise known as ‘lucky’ and we should be grateful. This just isn’t the case.

The case is, we as a society are failing mothers.

So, men, work colleagues, business owners, and the world–listen! Thank your colleagues for the work they do in their shortened hours. Men, thank your partners for the work they do. Make the invisible visible. And then visibly pick up half the load.

Share the burden so we no longer feel like one.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza, where it originally appeared. Follow Laura on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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