“I moved in with family members I didn’t have contact with growing up. It was the the beginning of a harsh series of months. I remember one person telling me, ‘The reason this is happening to you is because you’re always chasing money.’ I knew there had to be something better coming.”
‘I got pregnant on my 21st birthday. I was a sophomore in college and my family was 400 miles away. I had to create an exit plan. Things took a turn for the worst.’
‘We were celebrating 3 years of marriage. I thought life couldn’t get better. Then, I got news no one wants to hear.’: Woman battling sarcoma cancer thanks husband for support, ‘It’s the most beautiful love I’ve ever known’
“Tears rolled down my face. I went to lie down again and the entire sequence replayed itself. I could hardly believe it. Just like that, we transitioned from ‘recently married’ to ‘patient and caregiver’ and there was no stopping it. We began writing funeral plans.”
‘Today, I failed miserably as a mom. There was yelling, crying. My broken mom heart gave up. I worried I couldn’t turn the day around or pick up where we left off. Then, I tried something.’
“I fled. We fled. I had to turn and walk away before verbally wounding the child that just wounded me. I packed up the kids and bonus child. I could feel my heart rate calming as we came to the top. The day ended so much more peaceful than it began.”
‘Today, I witnessed someone tell a mother of 4, ‘You must really have your hands full.’ I winced. There was nothing positive about it. She half smiled, walked away. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.’
“To others, her kids are work. But they are so much for than that. What could’ve been said to to this mom that would’ve not left her with a half smile, but actual joy in her heart? I realized that only ONE word in the statement had to be changed.”
‘I was out at a restaurant. ‘I’m not feeling well,’ I said. I knew something was wrong. Shaking, I excused myself and drove straight home. When I got back, my world crumbled around me.’
“I crawled to the bathroom. I couldn’t stand up without blacking out. I was paralyzed. I was supposed to be getting ready to go off to college with friends and I suddenly found myself unable to get out of bed. The wheelchair made others roll their eyes. ‘You don’t need that,’ they said. ‘Faker.’
‘I kept thinking, ‘If I make more money than my husband, he won’t want me anymore.’ Why was I so afraid? I thought it was normal to fight about money.’
“I remember always being alone in my room, barbies in hand, my parents screaming profanities at each other. ‘Where is all the money? How could you have spent it all?!’ My dad had an expensive drug habit that kept him awake for work. As a child, I learned that money meant I was invisible.”
‘I was in an abusive relationship. She was a lesbian with a man she didn’t love. I was falling for her. One day, she strolled up to me, a grin on her face. ‘I want to be with you.’
“I was shocked, confused, taken aback. I’d never been with a woman before. I stammered, stuttered, and turned into a blubbering mess. I listed all the reasons why it wouldn’t work. I was scared to admit my feelings. Then my mom told me something I’ll always remember.”
‘I told him I wasn’t ready to have a baby with him. He didn’t care and messed with my birth control. ‘We’re going to be together for the rest of our lives,’ he said. Needless to say, I got pregnant.’
“Things started to take a darker turn. I wasn’t allowed to go outside alone. He spread lies to my friends and family. When I gave birth, he wouldn’t let me see my child. He called 911 saying I was a danger to the baby. He got full custody.”
‘I was the ‘closet Diet Mountain Dew drinker.’ I was MAD he left me. To be honest, I was a HOT MESS. I fought back.’
“He often told me, ‘You are too damn feisty.’ Well, I knew I had to stand up for myself. For almost 19 years I picked my battles.”
‘It was my daughter’s birthday. I was sitting, my feet in the river. I heard a yell. ‘She’s in the water!’ I turned. She was completely under water, face down. Pure panic went through my mind.’
“Rylee wanted to get closer to the other kids and went forward on the step more than she should have and slipped in. She was completely engulfed. I could see about half an inch of the top of her head. Without hesitation, I dove in after her. The current was taking her away rapidly. I could barely keep my head above water.”
‘My kids were accidental. I never wanted to be a mom. I don’t enjoy playing with my kids. I don’t like being touched or needed.’: Mom recalls struggles of motherhood before finding ‘beautiful love’ in children
“Every single day, I feel resentment, sadness, frustration. I reminisce about my lost freedom. The days I would wake up with energy, pull out my to-do list, and get everything done. The days when I could hop in the car and run a quick errand, take a nap, or shower whenever I wanted. The days I could set BIG goals and actually attain them.”
‘You were second. With you, it was different. The worries of a first-time mom faded. You didn’t make me a mother. But you sure made me a better one.’
“There was no gender reveal party. No elaborate showers. I didn’t take as many photos. We didn’t spend every waking moment reading all the books. I wondered how on earth my heart could ever be big enough, how I could manage to divide my time and energy and love equally enough.”
‘My son got trapped. The car mysteriously locked. He was strapped into a car seat in 100-degree heat, screaming hysterically. I paced in place. The only way to free him was to break a window.’
“My heart stopped. It took the firefighters an unreasonably long to arrive (light years in mom panic mode). My son’s hairdresser came racing to the scene. And then there was a random mom who stopped and stayed with me. My husband made it in record time across town.”
‘The precious time I should’ve had with my newborn was stolen from me. My patience was tried, my marriage tested. I was at rock bottom with no way up. I needed to prove I was a good mom.’
“The village you need to raise a baby felt more like a ghost town. I had no clue what I was doing. There was endless crying, anxiety so severe I didn’t leave the house, stretch marks, flab, puffiness. I despised it all. All I could think was, ‘It has to be better than this.'”
‘BABE. Something’s wrong with the baby!’ He flew down the stairs without touching a step. I just screamed, and screamed some more.’: Mom loses daughter to SIDS, urges us to ‘live each day like it’s our last’
“Jaymie was still and floppy. I grabbed her and started touching her face, opening her mouth, looking for any sign of what was wrong with my little girl! I remember opening my balcony doors, seeing the air ambulance, and screaming again. The police entered my home and I curled into a ball on the kitchen floor as they announced the time of death. What the hell was I hearing? I wrapped her in her Peppa Pig blanket and just stared, hoping and praying she’d just look up and smile at me. But no. She was gone.”
‘We connected on a dating app. I swiped right. The man was gorgeous, but 20 years younger. I agreed to meet him for a drink, but grew suspicious.’: Woman recalls losing the younger man she loved
“This all seemed too good to be true. I kept my guard up. When I went to his Facebook page to check his relationship status, I found something else. I sat up in bed and stopped breathing. I stared at my phone. ‘No,’ I cried. The words came out of my mouth as though someone else was saying them.”
‘I woke in such incredible pain. All I wanted to do was see our new baby. It’s hard to explain the first time you see your child this small. The first half hour I cried because I feared so much for his life.’
“My doctors took Dylan out as quickly as possible and focused on saving me. I had lost a 3rd of my blood and needed a hysterectomy. I had a 5 hour surgery after Dylan was whisked away to the NICU.”
‘I got the test results. I felt I let my husband down. Like I somehow failed to give him the ‘perfect’ baby. The silence was deafening. I kept thinking, ‘Why me?’ Then I thought, ‘Wait, why NOT me?’
“I had a woman sob in my arms out of sympathy. I remember telling my husband, ‘Do you think we’ll ever laugh or be happy again?’ I figured I had 3 choices. Give up, give in, or give it everything I’ve got. I had a little boy growing inside me who I needed be strong for. I went with option 3.”
‘She’s fat. It’s a good thing she’s nice. Otherwise, no one would pay attention to her.’ They both giggled and left the restroom. I stayed in the stall, frozen. I knew I needed to blend in.’
“I became aware that I was different from the other perfect, small, blonde girls. So, I hid my glasses, grew my hair out, and started dressing better. I realized I needed to walk tall, shift my shoulders back, and smile to draw any and all attention away from the rest of my body.”
‘To get 2 children, I gave up 2. Creating a baby lost all allure. I was on a mission, detached from the actual act. Every app told me when to breathe, when to baby make. I couldn’t feel joy. It was all fear.’
“I found some elaborate way to share the news with my husband. The handcrafted note around our dog’s neck read, ‘Surprise! You’re going to be a father!’ Then a few weeks later, surprise you’re not. By the 3rd pregnancy, there was no special announcement. I didn’t buy a single item, not even a bib. How could I?”
‘WHO DID IT? Is it true?!’ My mom stormed into my room, filled with rage. I looked into her eyes, and lied.’: Rape survivor vows to protect daughter after generations of abuse, ‘She will not know this darkness, it stops now’
“My mom stormed into my room. ‘Is this true?’ Her face was red. Confused, I looked her in the eyes and lied. I really wanted her to know. For her to hug me and tell me it was okay. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized it wasn’t normal.”
‘If I did good at work, I felt like I was failing at home. Fighting between the two worlds broke my heart. I put on a mask of perfection. I felt like I was drowning and couldn’t come up for air.’
“So, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I wish I could tell you everything was fine the next day. That my feelings resolved themselves or my prayers were magically delivered to my doorstep. In fact, it was quite the opposite.”
‘My husband wanted to take his motorcycle. He gave me a kiss and walked out the door. At 11:59 a.m. I got the call that changed my life. The nurse said, ‘Are you his wife? Meet me at the hospital.’
“I didn’t have a car seat for my nephew. I couldn’t leave. I called everyone I knew. My sister came home and said, ‘You need to go NOW.’ When I arrived, I saw a security guard outside the front doors of the ER. I walked up. My head was spinning.”
‘One random afternoon, I got a text from my husband. It’s bad. I thought, ‘Will I be a widow?’ I should’ve been at home breastfeeding. Instead, I was meeting with geneticists.’
“I couldn’t leave the kids alone with him. He couldn’t drive. No pick-ups, no drop-offs. Resentment built between us. We were told our children had a 50% chance of getting it too. All we could do was wait, and watch, and worry. It was too much to comprehend.”
‘I need to talk to you. Please.’ My best friend sat me down. I knew she did something really wrong. ‘Promise you won’t hate me.’: Woman goes through ‘friendship breakup’ after cheating scandal, urges ‘love is always stronger’
“My heart dropped. All I could muster was, ‘What?’ She tried to hold my hands, but I pulled away. ‘We can’t choose who we love!’ It was surreal to take in. I pictured her in my future. Now I can only tear up thinking about it.”