‘I read a viral post about romance that read, ‘Marry the person who…’ The thing is, we marry the person who ticks our boxes.’: Woman declares ‘love isn’t a romance movie, it’s HARD work’

“It’s always a simple message that declares lifelong love. \ Fight your guts out and if they don’t fight with you. If that doesn’t work, divorce that person.”

“Every so often I read a viral post about romance.

It’s always a simple message that declares lifelong love.

‘Marry the person who…’

With a simple message attached.

The thing is, we marry the person who ticks our boxes.

But after a few years of marriage, suddenly those boxes don’t really matter. It’s not enough to have married the person who smiles at us every morning (but yells at us later) or who cooks us our favorite meal (and leaves the dishes).

Marriage is hard HARD work. People really love to paint the dream it isn’t, or it shouldn’t be and that leads so many to the path of loneliness and disappointment.

We all have a honeymoon stage where we can’t see anything but perfection, But When you put two imperfect people together, you can only expect things will start to be imperfect.

Fighting is normal. Fighting about finances, kids, outings, who has more time to themselves, who makes more effort, it’s normal. It’s okay.

When the fighting becomes bitter, silent and leaves you dreaming about grass being greener, that’s when things are leading to abnormal. That’s when it’s time to go talk to someone together or try to work on things together. And that’s okay.

To remember the spring in the relationship will sometimes become winter and seasons do pass, however, you don’t want to get stuck outside in the rain forever.

So, marry the person who smiles at you every day, or wakes you up with coffee, and when shit goes downhill, take that person to counseling, learn to communicate and if that doesn’t work, divorce that person. Don’t idolize a relationship that doesn’t give you value or meaning because of some viral post with a simple message because you feel you’re meant to be happy with that. Don’t settle. Fight your guts out and if they don’t fight with you, then find someone who will.

Marry the person who things will eventually go downhill with, who will see you fart and pick your nose, who won’t care if you’ve gained 50 pounds, and if you discover they’re not that person after you marry them, find someone who is.

Love isn’t a romance movie and the most important love you’ll ever need for any of it to work, is your own.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza, where it originally appeared. Follow Laura on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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