‘I’m going to be honest – marriage isn’t exciting.’: Woman encourages others to find joy in the mundane of marriage

“How do you keep marriage exciting?

I’m gonna be honest – marriage isn’t exciting. I think we have this fairytale in our head that marriage will be this grand adventure of excitement. Don’t get me wrong, it does have exciting times, milestone moments, and many joy-filled adventures, but most of marriage is pretty boring and mundane.

The daily to-do lists, the making of dinner, the taking out the trash, the taking care of the kids, the trying to take care of yourself, the trying to foster all the relationships (friends, family, kids, work) on top of your spouse; most days it’s not exciting, but this doesn’t mean it’s bad.

On social media, you mostly see the ‘exciting’ parts of people’s marriage – the date nights, the vacations, the smiles. These are GREAT things and you should have fun things added into your marriage and your life, but I truly don’t believe there’s a way to keep it exciting overall. Or maybe this is just me being burnt by the excitement or expectations of marriage.

Maybe you feel this too, but having expectations and thinking marriage should look a certain way leads to disappointment and feeling like your relationship is missing ‘something.’ So often we chase and tweak our way along, searching for that magical thing to make our marriage.

Marriage is made of two imperfect people, both messy in their own ways, with strengths and weaknesses, on a journey of learning to live a life together that helps lead the next generation to continue on. It’s messy, some days it’s super hard, there are tears, moments where you feel extremely weak and confused, then there’s moments of pure joy, and excitement and triumph, feeling on top of the world.

It’s an ever-evolving, constantly changing journey. Keep loving your person, keep giving grace, keep working on communication, and keep God in the center of it all. I find that excitement comes from those small things and the growth that’s made, much more so than a vacation photo can bring.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Allie Darr of Chattanooga, TN and originally appeared here. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube  for our best videos.

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