“Here’s the thing about comparison. Ok, here’s ONE of the many, many things about comparison:
Comparison doesn’t change the reality of who you are. It doesn’t change the reality of what you have. It doesn’t change anything about the actual realm of the reality you live in.
And it shouldn’t change your perception either.
It shouldn’t make you feel better to look at somebody and say, ‘well you know, the grass isn’t ever really as green as it looks.’
Maybe her grass is honestly, truly green. No matter what color it is, it doesn’t change the color of your own grass. It doesn’t change the state of your own yard. It doesn’t change the appearance of your own turf, unless you let the lens you are looking through allow it to.
Cheer for her.
Clap for her.
Be happy for her and all her grass.
And then go about the business of watering and gardening and pulling the weeds out of your own.
Her marriage being happy doesn’t have to stop you from also having a happy marriage.
Her being pretty doesn’t have to stop you from also being pretty.
Her zillion friendships don’t have to stop you from also developing a zillion friendships.
Her success doesn’t have to stop you from also finding success.
Her happiness doesn’t have to stop you from also creating your own happiness. Unless you let it. Unless you let it creep in. Unless you let it strangle the very life right out of your lungs.
Don’t worry about whether she really is as skinny as she looks in her new Instagram picture. Don’t worry about whether her skin really is as flawless as it looks in the Valencia filter. Don’t worry about whether she and her husband really have enough money to be taking all of those fancy beach vacations. Don’t worry about whether or not she is really capable of baking chocolate chip cookies with her kids without yelling like a crazy woman. Don’t worry about whether or not she really has it all together.
Don’t worry about discerning between her perceived life and her reality life.
All that worry is robbing you of time better spent on other things. All that worry is robbing you of confidence better added to your own self-worth. All that worry is robbing you of joy better cultivated in your own heart.
All that worry is getting you nowhere.
That’s not in your lane. That’s not in your department. That’s not for your good.
That’s not going to change one single thing about the life you’re actually living, the home you’ve actually built, the people you’re actually in a relationship with, or the state your lawn is actually in.
Instead, choose to be a person you love. Choose to create a happiness you love. Choose to create a reality you love.
And then see if that love has enough power to actually change the color of your own grass. I bet it does.
There’s transformation in love. There’s growth in love. There’s magic in love.
Learn to love her and not compare yourself to her.
Learn to value her and not evaluate yourself against her.
Learn to appreciate her worth without diminishing your own.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Amy Weatherly. The article originally appeared here. Submit your story here, and be sure to subscribe to our best love stories here.
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