“What I’m fighting for.
I’ve heard the worst of the worst in my almost 43 years of life.
‘We found a mass. Quite honestly, I’m concerned.’
‘It is malignant. You have a 10 cm tumor. There are also 2 spots in your left lung.’
‘It’s stage 4. Our best guess is you have a 10-15% chance of living the next 5 years.’
I’ve now been battling stage 4 colon cancer for nearly 6 years. I beat that 15% chance. I’ve had 42 radiation treatments, over 60 chemo treatments, more surgeries in the last nearly 6 years than most have in a lifetime. I’ve somehow had such devastating Sepsis I was within hours of death. Twice.
There is a looming fear I’m on borrowed time. I’ve beat the odds by almost a year already. I’m afraid my 10- and 7-year-old children won’t have their mom by their side as they start middle school and grade school.
I try not to worry about it. I try to make every day the best I can for them. I want them to remember when I taught them to ride a two-wheeler. And that I practiced their spelling words with them every single morning.
I want them to think of fun zoo trips and every single Muffins With Mom event at school. I pray they will remember what I went through for them. But not so much that they remember how sick the chemo made me. I want them to know as sick as I was, it helped me be with them even one more day.
I’m fighting. I’m fighting every single day. I never want my kids to think I gave up on them. On life. As hard as it is, my will to live is for them.
I hope they’re proud. I hope they see what courage and strength there is in fighting cancer. I hope they remember that strength and courage when I’m at my weakest. And I hope they remember the light on the other side.
Because while the bad has been very bad, the good has been SO much better. We appreciate everything more. They don’t know my time is limited. They just know I do what I do in order to be able to do the fun stuff later. And while the Cancer fight is hell, it’s sure as hell worth it in order to take one more trip to the zoo next year.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Katy L. of Iowa. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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