‘I’m happy to see you prioritizing yourself for once.’ That sent the message of a controlling husband. It was really upsetting.’: Dad’s important message for ‘nosey, judgmental’ people who have ‘no idea how partnerships work’

“Last night I got asked if I wanted a medal for looking after my own kids. I was told I should let my wife go out more than once in a year. I got labelled as someone they’re glad they’re not with because they get to go out every week on their own for ‘me time.’

All because I said I was really happy to see her prioritizing herself for once. Apparently, that sent the message of a controlling husband. And it was really upsetting.

Well here’s the thing for all the nosey and judgmental tosspots out there who have no idea how many partnerships work….

We both ask each other for time off. That doesn’t mean we weren’t allowed to take it. It just means we want to first make sure the other person is going to be okay. Neither of us could really enjoy ourselves knowing the other was at home struggling.

We ask each other permission to spend money. It’s not because one person earns or controls it. Just because our decisions are joint, and we prioritize things together. And sometimes our personal needs aren’t as high on the list as the families.

We talk about things that will impact our family. Not because we need clearance. But we both care enough to know the other persons thoughts before we do it.

Neither of us would ever begrudge the other anything they ever wanted or needed. In fact, if you gave us both the same time and money… we’d probably spend it on ways to make things better for the other person.

When someone in a relationship chooses to be unselfish. It’s a sign of their priorities.

Don’t be so naive to suggest that it’s due to control or capability of the other person…. because that says more about your relationship than theirs.

People in toxic relationships will always try to find faults in the ones that are not.

I assure you all… my clothes are older than hers.”

This story was written by Brad Kearns of DaDMum. The article originally appeared here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more stories like this: 

‘For our 1-year anniversary, my husband took me to McDonald’s and bought me the dollar menu. It’s all we could afford.’: Wife insists ‘being treated like a queen’ looks different ‘than what the world told you it should’

‘As I opened it she said ‘it’s another boy isn’t it’. I smiled back at her and said ‘yep’.’

‘I was looking at my phone when my wife asked me a question. She was obviously irritated. She’d asked me the same question twice already. I’d responded ‘sure’ to a non-yes or no question.’

Do you know someone who could benefit from this story? Please SHARE on Facebook or Twitter.