‘I’m a people pleaser. I help carry all your burdens. I overthink and over-analyze. I put my needs last.’: Woman urges ‘your desire to love isn’t bad, it’s your God-given talent’

“I’m a people pleaser.

A yes girl.

Conflict makes my stomach turn, my muscles tense, and my heart beat fast.

I’m plagued by overthinking, over-analyzing, and worrying.

I’m not a small talker. I want to KNOW you. I want to know your hurts so I can help dress your wounds.

I desire to help carry all your burdens.

I want others to feel happy, comfortable, and comforted.

I’m able to pick up on your mood and if you’re having a bad day faster than a toddler throwing a tantrum over spilled milk.

But can I be honest about it?

It’s a lot of work, all this people pleasing. Sometimes I think it would be a whole lot easier if my heart didn’t have this ache to please.

Because usually after all my people pleasing and worrying, I put my own needs last.

I often don’t voice my thoughts when my opinion is different than yours.

I’m indecisive because I don’t want my decision to dampen your desires.

I’m often too afraid to chase my dreams if my dreams are a little ‘different.’ Because I’m afraid I’ll let you and your expectation of me down.

Sometimes, I notice when everyone else around me is hurting, but I hardly pay any attention to when I’m hurting.

But here’s the thing. The beautiful thing.

God doesn’t call us to live a comfortable life, walking on eggshells, and pleasing everyone we meet. He calls us to love. That’s our biggest job.

And sometimes, love looks a lot like disagreeing. It looks like firmly standing on our solid ground of morals backed up by His truth. It’s courageous, this love.

It means caring enough about our emotions that we take the time to nurture our souls.

It means caring enough about their emotions to ask the tough and uncomfortable questions.

It sometimes looks like confrontation…because we are required to lovingly ‘talk it out’ with someone who hurt us, or when we hurt them. It would be easier to gossip, but God prefers talking it out, face to face.

It means fiercely using our God-given talents, even if it makes others uncomfortable. Even if they don’t approve. Even if they don’t support what you’re doing.

So fellow people pleasers, know that your desire to love isn’t bad.

But it is not His desire for you to sacrifice yourself and your morals in the false name of love. Because that’s just not love, plain and simple.

God doesn’t call us to live a comfortable people-pleasing life. He calls us to live a life that only pleases Him.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Messy Footprints. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Messy Footprints:

‘As I closed your bedroom door, I felt a whisper over my heart. ‘It’s not going to be like this for long. This is the most he’ll ever need his mama.’: Mom urges ‘hold on, soon you’ll have to let go’

‘Wait for the heartbeat. Don’t fall in love too quickly.’ But sweet baby, I just can’t help it.’: Mom says ‘no matter what happens, I’ll always be your mama’

‘The toddler who threw an epic tantrum? He’s bored right now, and he’s picking up on everyone else’s emotions.’: Woman urges ‘love harder, we’re all in this together’

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