‘If not your breasts, they’ll attempt to convince you your worth depends upon your thigh gap, complexion, weight.’: Mom shuts down 8-year-old daughter thinking her body is ‘flawed’

“My darling girl,

There is something I must get off my chest before you grow into yours.

As you get older, some of society, many men, and on occasion, even some women, will try to convince you that your breasts — their size, their shape, their spacing, their level of ‘perky’ — are what define you as a woman.

If not your breasts, then they’ll attempt to convince you that your worth as a person is dependent upon your thigh gap, your complexion, the whiteness of your teeth, your weight on a scale, the brand and style of clothes you wear, what your job (or lack thereof) is, if you are in a relationship or married and whether or not you have kids.

Hear me clearly when I firmly inform you, they are wrong.

An imbecile that defines and judges another human being by anything other than what they have in their heart obviously needs to improve their own.

My girl, you are 8 going on 9 years old, but I remember 3-year-old you like it was yesterday.

Gone are the days of you letting me dress you.

Gone are the days of you wearing sweatpants with a tutu.

Gone are the days of you covering your fine blonde hair with a Batman beanie.

Gone are the days of you rocking an AC/DC muscle tee with your hot pink pants and glitter shoes.

Gone are the days of messy faces and tangled hair.

Gone are the days of dirty feet and wearing a Halloween costume on a Thursday in February, just because.

Gone is my little girl who didn’t give a flying fudgesicle what she was wearing on any given day or if that fudgesicle had spilled all over her freshly-washed white shirt.

These days you care.

These days you have an opinion.

These days you have a strong opinion.

These days you seek appearance perfection.

But, here’s what I need you to know and believe…

You are perfect.

You are perfect in whatever clothes make you happy, but honey, opt for comfort. Opt for ease. Opt for fun.

Wear clothes that make you feel confident, but learn to feel beautiful in any (and also in nothing).

Embrace your body and your size. Embrace what you think are your ‘flaws’ and remember that God made you, and he doesn’t make mistakes.

Spend your time concerning yourself with how your heart is presenting itself, not your appearance.

And when you see other people, I want you to look beyond what your eyes are showing you, as they are inadvertently deceiving you. You must filter your vision with compassion and grace and then fully take in those around you. It helps if you incorporate your ears too and listen intently to hear what their heart is trying to tell yours via their words and actions, but also a person’s more subtle body language.

Sadly, at your age, my beautiful girl, so much importance is given to looking pretty, and that scares me.

Those that look pretty often don’t feel pretty.

Those that look pretty and feel pretty often struggle to see the ‘pretty’ in others.

I said it before, and I will repeat it: You are perfect, my little one.

You are perfectly you, and my darling, that makes you the most gorgeous thing in the world.

While it’s a shame that not everybody holds the same standard for ‘pretty’ that you and I do, you’re such a dynamic, kindhearted being that there is no doubt you’re going to help perpetuate the perspective that the most beautiful people in this world could be turned inside out, and be just as stunning.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Nicole Merritt of Jthreenme, where the post originally appeared. You can follow her on Facebook, her website or podcast.