“Tonight, as I was perusing through Facebook, there it was…
Yet ANOTHER story about a mother being shamed for her parenting choices, followed by a debate over who does it better, how they do it better, and how the judgments hurt both sides!!!
And all I could think in that moment was… where do you find these people?!
Seriously, do you honestly know people like this? People who call you out for the parenting choices you’re making? People who are blatantly rude to your face because they have different ideas, beliefs, or techniques? Because if you do, you need to find some new friends.
I have friends who gave birth naturally, and I have friends who have had C-sections. Never once have we criticized each other for the way we brought our children into this world. It has never once been a topic of conversation in any social circle I’ve been a part of. You delivered a happy, healthy baby? So, did I! High-five, sister! We rock!
I have friends who breastfed, and friends who bottle fed with formula. Never once have we argued over whose children will be smarter or healthier. Never once have we shamed each other for the way we choose to feed our children. Your baby keeps you up all night, clinging to the boob! I haven’t slept either, girlfriend. This every 2-hour bottle making business is for the birds. Let me buy you a latte… sounds like we both need a venti today!
I have friends who have never allowed their children in their bed, and friends who have co-slept from day one. Never once have we ever sat in a room together and gone over pediatric studies about the ‘proper’ way to do bedtime, or marriage studies about how damaging it supposedly is to your marriage. Your kid still isn’t sleeping through the night either?! Here, I’m sending you the link to these eye masks. They’re supposed to make it look like you got a full 8 hours. You’ll need it for date night with the hubby. You know the lighting in that restaurant could make even Kim K. look like the Crypt Keeper. You can thank me tomorrow… oh, and whatever you do, don’t get pregnant tonight!
I have friends who are crunchy and organic, and I have friends who swear by fruit snacks and Lunchables. Never once have we sat at a table and argued over nutritional values and our kids diet plans. Our kids all have way too much energy; more than we could ever keep up with. I suspect they suck it directly from our souls. It certainly explains why I feel depleted 24/7. Carbs aren’t slowing these kids down, that’s for dang sure!
Girlfriend, if you are spending time with people who criticize your parenting style, it’s time for you to find some new friends, because -real talk- those people sure aren’t!
Real friends don’t care about these silly arguments. They are in the trenches with you, because let’s face it- this motherhood gig is hard on us all! We’re all just doing the best we can.
Real friends just want to make sure you’re okay, because as long as you’re okay, your kids will be okay, and that’s all that matters in the grand scheme of things.
So quit apologizing. You just do you!
And please stop feeling like you have to explain your viewpoint.
You don’t.
You don’t owe an explanation to anyone. And just go ahead and say goodbye to anyone who thinks you do.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Jade North of Four Norths in the South. The article originally appeared here. Follow Jade on Instagram here. Submit your story here, and be sure to subscribe to our best love stories here.
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