‘I was caught up in the idea of doing everything naturally. I swore I’d never use medication, especially when I was breastfeeding.’: Mom overcomes fear of medicating for mental health while breastfeeding

‘I was caught up in the idea of doing everything naturally. I swore I would never use medication, especially when I was breastfeeding.’: Mom overcomes fear of using medication while breastfeeding to help her own mental health

“There were a couple of weeks where every other night or sometimes every night I’d only sleep 1 or 2 hours or maybe not at all.”

“When this picture was taken, I was trying to put on a happy face for our family pictures, but I was really struggling with what I didn’t know was postpartum anxiety and depression.”

“When this picture was taken I was trying to put on a happy face for our family pictures but I was really struggling with what I didn’t know was postpartum anxiety and depression.

I couldn’t fall asleep, or I’d wake up and worry about getting back to sleep and think, ‘Well, she’s probably going to wake up soon.’

I’d lay there waiting – sometimes not falling back asleep till the early morning hours when it would be time to get up anyway.

And forget napping.

This went on for a couple of months.

There were a couple of weeks where every other night or sometimes every night I’d only sleep 1 or 2 hours or maybe not at all.

Even thinking about it makes me anxious.

Looking back, I can’t believe that small couple of weeks had such an impact on my mental health.

In reality, all this anxiety about nap schedules and my new identity as a mama was causing my brain to just not be able to shut off.

I didn’t have classic PPD.

But the anxiety and insomnia definitely fell in line with postpartum anxiety and needed to be dealt with.

It wasn’t until my daughter was nine months that I finally decided to go on anti-anxiety medication.

I was caught up in the idea of doing everything naturally and I swore I would never use medication, especially when I was breastfeeding.

I had this idea in my head that I had to find the root cause of what was causing my anxiety.

Sometimes you need to take care of yourself and ignore the perfect idea of what you think the ideal, ‘natural’ lifestyle is.

I still struggle with this decision 5 years later.

What if in 20 years they discover some awful effects of using this medication in pregnancy and breastfeeding?

I can’t say it doesn’t cross my mind.

But really all we can do is make decisions based on a risk/benefit analysis and what will benefit based on the information we know TODAY.

If you’re struggling with this decision, I see you and would love to connect.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Andrea Haskins. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more stories about postpartum here:

Being A Mother Is Hard, Postpartum Disorders Are Even Harder

‘I was uncomfortable holding my own baby. I didn’t know then the fog was just setting in.’: First time mom opens up about postpartum struggles

We Talk A Lot About The Postpartum Body—But There’s Something Missing From The Conversation

‘Last night, I was absolutely certain my child was taken from me.’: Mom struggling with postpartum anxiety says ‘it’s invisible to you, but it’s very real to us’

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