“I was the quintessential wino mom. Until I quit.
I still miss those first few sips. Red wine was my jam and I always took a big inhale of my Cabernet before that sweet hit of the lips.
I could feel the wine line my throat and the head rush was immediate.
It was my favorite part of my nightly drinking ritual. And I would spend the next two to three glasses chasing that initial buzz.
The allure of wine after a long day with kids is obvious. It’s in the first sip. Your head slows down. Problems seem to simplify. And everything just loosens up a little.
Tomorrow’s meeting with the principal stops eating at you. Yesterday’s phone call with your boss that went sideways becomes water under the bridge. Wine fixes everything, and fast. And life feels light and fuzzy for a moment in time.
If only it stopped there. But for me, it never stopped there. My desire to hold on to that initial feeling of lightness would lead me to pour another glass, then another. More nights than not, I emptied the bottle and stuffed it deep in the recycling so no one would see it at first glance.
Because I knew a nightly glass of wine was nothing to be ashamed of. But a bottle? That gets people talking.
One cold December morning, after a weekend of boozy holiday parties. I quit. I broke up with booze. I said ‘enough.’
I was sick and tired of always being sick and tired.
I was tired of pretending, of hiding, of waking up with a headache and mom guilt over drinking to intoxication. I was a mom of two young kids who quite literally counted on me to live. And I was going to bed stupid drunk or heavily buzzed. The ‘what ifs’ ravaged my mind.
I knew something would have to change. I could choose to cut down or quit altogether.
But when I realized even just the idea of stopping at one drink sounded pointless and just a tease — I had my answer. I was all or nothing.
That was almost two years ago. I look back on that day in disbelief. God, I was strong to stop cold turkey. But also? I was too weak to go on. I simply could not do another day of that old life that was slowly stealing my soul, my health, my presence.
I’m grateful for my alcohol free life. I’m grateful to be out of alcohol’s grip. And I have found so much more than just a new way of living in leaving my wine glass behind. I found LIFE.
To quit drinking sounded scary. But what sounded even scarier? Losing everything if I didn’t.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Celeste Yvonne of The Ultimate Mom Challenge. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here.
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