“I don’t like motherhood, not really. But I love my kids.
Actually sometimes I hate it. The pressures, the expectations, the routines, the bedtimes, the parenting in this modern day and googling the best way to reward your child’s good behavior by ensuring they don’t grow up selfish, entitled, demanding, not knowing the value of money, drug dealing criminals who sit in their psychiatrist’s office saying, ‘I feel like my mother never loved me,’ by using a laminated chart with Velcro detachable pictures of toothbrushes. The Jenny’s who say, ‘Why isn’t that poor baby wearing socks?’ when you spent 3 hours negotiating pants as minimum to wear to the park. Yep, that stuff can go get screwed as far as I am concerned.
Am I a monster? No. Am I alone? No way. There are loads of parents who feel like this and not all of them have suffered from postnatal depression or anxiety. Not all of them have to slam down the Prozac with some vodka. Sometimes motherhood just sucks.
But it has nothing to do with the way we feel about our children. None. It’s all the pressures we are constantly facing. Go to the gym, do the washing, get veggies into everyone, talk to all of your friends, go to work, shop and keep your children quiet down the candy aisle. Look amazing every day, bang your husband every day, and find vitamins that don’t have anything artificial in it… I MEAN WHAT? Cook for a bake sale; get involved in your kid’s school, clean ya DAMN HOUSE. Oh god. Shhh.
We are having the hallmark picture of parenting robbed away from us because of the constant pressure and the constant fake representation that we are presented with in movies or social media. My grandmother had something like 16 kids, you know why? Because birth control wasn’t as popular back then? Yes, most likely, but also there wasn’t half the pressures that there are now. There wasn’t anything that said that you had to kill yourself in order to be a good parent, you just had to love them right and love them well. And I think we are facing that part.
Say goodbye to all of that, goodbye to the expectations of motherhood. Hate it if you want, but take the time to love your kids. The rest can wait. Your happiness can’t.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza of Mum on the Run, where it originally appeared. Follow Laura on Instagram here. Submit your story here, and subscribe to our best love stories here.
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‘She’s not broken’: To the man whose wife or partner has anxiety
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