I Am This Beautiful Boy’s First Love, But I Know I Won’t Be The Last

“The day we met, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

He was mine, and I was his, and we celebrated our love by dancing.

First, is the dance of skin-to-skin.

That’s the one that was magical.

Then the dance of nursing…the excruciating dance.

And then, in the darkness of night.

When he cried, while I soothed him, we danced.

In the warmth of the sun, the first time he smiled, while I kissed his sweet face, we danced.

He must have been just two or three the first time he asked me to marry him.

A thousand times, yes, I promised.

And we sealed our vow by dancing.

As his mama, I know how incredible it is to be this beautiful boy’s, first love.

To be the first person ever to dance with him.

But I know I won’t be the last.

I can’t stop my baby from growing.

And I know it will be a privilege to watch him grow from a little boy to a teen to a man.

But I also know that means I won’t always get to protect him.

I can’t stop him from discovering childhood crushes.

And we call it a ‘crush’ for a reason.

I can’t stop him from asking someone else to dance.

So I’ll watch from a reasonable distance, clutching my heart and holding my breath.

I can’t stop him from falling head over heels.

He’ll fall too young, he’ll fall too hard.

I have no doubt, it’ll be messy.

I only hope it’ll also be beautiful.

Whoever it is, let it be beautiful.

But I can’t stop his heart from breaking, either.

And that’s the thing that keeps me up at night.

At some point in his life, he’ll be shattered.

He’ll be broken beyond what he believes can be repaired.

But before he falls head over heels again… or for the final time… I’ll be there, and I’ll ask to cut in.

To put his head on my shoulder.

And then I’ll remind him of my promise, the one thing that will always be true…

That the first girl who danced with him is one who will love him forever.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Cassie Gottula Shaw. You can follow her journey on Facebook. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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