I Am The Gray Area Friend

More Stories like:

“I saw a meme the other day and the message was pretty basic:

If you can’t take a minute out of your day to say hi to me, then I’m not making time for you in my life.

Period.

The end.

Advertisement

I get it, in theory.

If life were black and white, all good or all bad, all happy or all sad, all easy or all hard, then it would make sense to apply that logic to a friendship.

But, most of life happens within the gray – the space between black and white.

And I am a gray friend.

Advertisement

Sometimes I am a bad friend.

Sometimes I am a good friend.

Sometimes I forget to text back my friends.

Sometimes I check in with them when it really counts.

Advertisement

Sometimes I mean to reach out and say hi and then before I know it, I’m crawling into bed at the end of the day, my mind filled to the brim with all the things I didn’t get done.

Sometimes I show up.

Sometimes I decide deliberately to not reach out because it’s all I can do to keep the lid on my emotions from bubbling over.

Sometimes I let that lid go and reach out anyways.

Advertisement

Yes, I am a gray friend – but that doesn’t mean I don’t love the people in my life.

It just means that sometimes life is more complicated than a simple meme.

More complicated than bad or good,

More complicated than right or wrong.

Advertisement

Sometimes life just is weird and amazing,

Messy and wonderful.

Full of grief and full of joy.

All of those things – all at the same time.

Advertisement

And so, friendships can be all of those things too.

Younger me didn’t get it, but older me gets it now.

Now I try to give my friends some grace about living in the gray.

Just because they don’t return a text or don’t reach out to say hi might not mean they don’t like me.

Advertisement

It might mean they are too busy right now.

It might mean they are struggling.

It might mean they need to take a break from peopling.

It might mean they forgot.

Advertisement

It might mean one of the millions of reasons that exist in the gray.

So, I’ll keep on not keeping score and trying to give the important people the benefit of life’s gray spaces, and I’ll keep hoping people do the same for me.”

woman taking a selfie with a grey filter
Courtesy of Jenni Brennan

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Jenni Brennan. You can follow her journey on Facebook and InstagramSubmit your own story here.

Read more from Jenni here:

Advertisement

The ‘Perfect’ Family Is A Myth, And It’s Time We Realize It

Walk Away From The Things And People That Drain Your Energy—Even If It Feels Too Hard

‘She helps me see hope in the chaos. She silently encourages me to be my true self. She reminds me I am worthy of love.’: Woman learns to embrace authentic self ‘without judgement’

‘I have a quirky confession to make. Today I decided not to head home from work, but to my other home instead.’: Woman shares reminder to ‘make time for places that feel like home’

Advertisement

Provide beauty and strength for others. SHARE this story on Facebook with your friends and family.

Subscribe to our Living Better newsletter.

Your ultimate guide for actionable insights, evidence-backed advice, and captivating personal stories propelling you towards a more fulfilling life.

    Join our newsletter.

    Captivating stories. Actionable insights. Evidence-backed advice.

      Unsubscribe at any time.

      Join our newsletter.

      Captivating stories. Actionable insights. Evidence-backed advice.

        Unsubscribe at any time.

        Copyright © 2025 Love What Matters. All Rights Reserved.
         Share  Tweet
        Logo

        Looks like your ad blocker is on.

        ×

        We rely on ads to keep creating quality content for you to enjoy for free.

        Please support our site by disabling your ad blocker.

        Continue without supporting us

        Choose your Ad Blocker

        • Adblock Plus
        • Adblock
        • Adguard
        • Ad Remover
        • Brave
        • Ghostery
        • uBlock Origin
        • uBlock
        • UltraBlock
        • Other
        1. In the extension bar, click the AdBlock Plus icon
        2. Click the large blue toggle for this website
        3. Click refresh
        1. In the extension bar, click the AdBlock icon
        2. Under "Pause on this site" click "Always"
        1. In the extension bar, click on the Adguard icon
        2. Click on the large green toggle for this website
        1. In the extension bar, click on the Ad Remover icon
        2. Click "Disable on This Website"
        1. In the extension bar, click on the orange lion icon
        2. Click the toggle on the top right, shifting from "Up" to "Down"
        1. In the extension bar, click on the Ghostery icon
        2. Click the "Anti-Tracking" shield so it says "Off"
        3. Click the "Ad-Blocking" stop sign so it says "Off"
        4. Refresh the page
        1. In the extension bar, click on the uBlock Origin icon
        2. Click on the big, blue power button
        3. Refresh the page
        1. In the extension bar, click on the uBlock icon
        2. Click on the big, blue power button
        3. Refresh the page
        1. In the extension bar, click on the UltraBlock icon
        2. Check the "Disable UltraBlock" checkbox
        1. Please disable your Ad Blocker
        2. Disable any DNS blocking tools such as AdGuardDNS or NextDNS

        If the prompt is still appearing, please disable any tools or services you are using that block internet ads (e.g. DNS Servers).