How One Photo Reminded Me Gender Stereotypes Are Not Truth

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“This photo of my husband holding his niece was taken 13 years ago. Three years before I met him.

After we had been dating for a while he told me:

‘I’ve wanted kids since I was 18.’

I thought he was joking. I was speechless.

I had never heard a man say that before.

But he always wanted kids.

And then one night when he dropped me off after a date and back at my parents’ house, I was flipping through his Facebook photos and I saw this photo:

uncle with niece
Courtesy of Kali Dawson

The joy in his eyes holding his sweet little niece melted my entire heart.

And I knew he was telling me the truth.

This little piece of his heart is worth sharing because it’s a reminder that, as women, we can’t always put men in a box.

A box that says they don’t have emotions because they don’t show them.

A box that says they don’t cry because nothing bothers them.

A box that says they aren’t sensitive.

A box that says they don’t stress over and worry about the same things we do.

A box that says they aren’t thinking of their children (or about having children) like we are.

A box that says they need to toughen up.

A box that says their influence doesn’t matter in the lives of their babies.

Because it does.

A box that says they don’t want kids or that they don’t wish they could spend more time with their kids instead of working so much.

Sometimes, they aren’t always able to say what they really want, because the world around them has painted them a certain way.

And a lot of times we do all the talking, while they just listen.

He was (and still is) a man of few words and a really good listener, yet he repeated his words more than once to me back then, when we talked about having a family someday:

‘I’ve always wanted kids.’

And his eyes would light up.

And now when he sees his three little ones run across the living room floor, learn to ride bikes, and say new words…

His eyes light up, just like they did in this photo.

When he sees them run to him and jump into his arms squealing Daddy

His eyes light up, just like they did in this photo.

All those years ago.”

dad with kids
Courtesy of Kali Dawson

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Kali Dawson. You can follow her journey on Facebook. Submit your own story here.

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