“My face was in the toilet for the entire day. I was crying to any god out there to hear me, anyone at all. ‘Take it away or kill me. Either way I can’t do it anymore.'”
- Love What Matters
- Health
- Addiction
“My face was in the toilet for the entire day. I was crying to any god out there to hear me, anyone at all. ‘Take it away or kill me. Either way I can’t do it anymore.'”
“Some days I’m not really sure if I killed my husband or not. I certainly have been accused of it by a handful of people. Family members and close friends have said painful things like, ‘You left him when he needed you most,’ or, ‘He gave up the moment you kicked him out.'”
“I held out the framed photograph for her. Tears overwhelmed her. I instinctively reached out, ‘I’m rooting for you.’”
“I stood by her crib and stared at the greatest gift I had ever been given, my beautiful baby girl. As I looked at her, tears flooded out of me uncontrollably. I couldn’t drink — if not for me in that moment, for her.”
“I was the one who stayed out late, the one who always turned up. But I was also the one who had blackouts, who got hit by a car, forgot whole blocks of time, and always had something to be ashamed or embarrassed about the next day. That day in my living room was the last day I drank.”
“Even if this reaches one person, and they decide to face their demons and feel their feelings over becoming numb, all because I could show them it is possible, then my life purpose has been filled.”
“I was introduced to heroin. Heroin invited meth, meth invited fentanyl, and pretty soon, it was just one big, drugged out party of hell. I was sleeping in abandoned houses, porches, outdoor elevators, dumpster enclosures, and sidewalks. I had boils all over my arms and legs, and the wound on my back was highly infected. I smelled like death.”
“There was a time when all I wanted was a ‘normal’ life. I didn’t think it was possible to break the cycle I was trapped in. I took one step at a time. I was determined to work as hard as I needed to, take as many steps as necessary to become the man I wanted to be, and now that man is exactly who I am.”
“I remember lying on a mattress on the floor in a filthy room with an overflowing ashtray, blankets stuffed in the windows, praying to God for better days. Those days came.”
“A speaker came to the rehab. I asked him, ‘I just want to know, why me?’ His answer was simple: ‘Even if you had the answer, it wouldn’t change anything. Don’t spend your time looking for the answer, spend your time on the solution.’ That simple exchange changed my entire outlook. From that day forward, I was only interested in getting well.”