“I shouldn’t have survived.”

- Love What Matters
- Children
“I shouldn’t have survived.”
“I won’t remember the unease I felt about the messy house. I won’t remember the feelings of inadequacy trying to pass pajamas as clothing with dry shampoo hair. I won’t remember the judgement I felt about my toddler wearing hand-me-downs. But I’ll remember their charming, unconditional love that perfectly balanced the chaos.”
“My top family’s letter was different from all the others. ‘Dear Friend, we wonder if these letters are as hard to read as they are to write.’ It was a way of showing me they recognize I’m still a person and not just a means of them getting a child.”
“Even if you don’t understand it. Even if you secretly hate their movies or their music. Even if you think it’s silly or a waste of time. I promise you, it will mean so much to her. And when you’re gone, she’ll look back and realize just how lucky she was to have you.”
“I’ve seen trauma, tears, and sorrow on this path, but I’ve also seen beautiful scenery along the way. Without the bumps in the road, we wouldn’t cherish the good days like we do now.”
“Now I allow the other person an opportunity to hear a new perspective, gain a new depth of understanding, or judge me based on what little information they’ve amassed. Either way, I’m a mama to three girls, but one of them doesn’t live with me.”
“Grief is the most arduous race anyone will ever run. You can do this, and I’ll run by your side.”
“She would contact her workers monthly asking if they had found her a family yet. She was desperate for a family to love her and call her own.”
“We’re all thrown out into the open ocean of motherhood just trying to stay afloat and make our way back to shore alive…but no matter how big those waves are, the open ocean of motherhood is the most beautiful, humbling, and awe-inspiring creation there is.”
“The excitement and determination were swept away with grief. This incurable disease is marked by developmental delays, atrophy of the basal ganglia and cerebellum, difficulty controlling muscles… and death.”