“I’d just gotten to the freeing point in a mom’s life. You know, where your kids are self-sufficient enough to give you a minute to breathe, to get dishes or laundry done, or even just take a shower without worrying about them. I knew there was no way I could be pregnant. Nor did I want to be.”
“My eyes still swell when I think about how I will never get to hear her laugh or see her smile. I will never get to put a band-aid on her knee and have magical mommy kisses.”
“I must say goodbye to being the only one to comfort him when his heart has been hurt. I must say goodbye to being the only one to see the shimmer in his eyes when he does something for the first time he’s proud of. I must say goodbye to the little boy who grew my heart in more ways than I could ever describe. And I’ll hope and pray that it was all enough.”
“She continued, ‘Please know it had nothing to do with you.’ I’d been waiting my entire life to hear those words. The hug she gave me seemed to last forever. It was truly out of a Lifetime movie.”
“I’ve rebuilt myself bit by bit. I’m brave, independent, and strong. I have forgiven myself for letting him hurt me.”
“The baby is being taken care of, and the mother needs to be seen, so she doesn’t disappear into a postpartum fog.”
“Let yourself breathe in fully, and exhale slowly, and just exist in the moment. There’s so much beauty hidden in the mess.”
“‘I’m sorry, I’m not detecting a heartbeat.’ What followed is a blur. I recall Reece shouting NO repeatedly, but I stayed silent. The world seemed to stop, and I felt like I was watching myself on a TV screen.”
“Just as they were putting the sheet up to block my view, I started hearing everyone scream PUSH, PUSH, PUSH! Push what? I’m pretty sure there isn’t any pushing involved with a C-section. Was I tripping from the drugs? I was on the freaking OR table!”
“All I could think about was how I was going to take care of a newborn when I couldn’t walk. I felt angry, terrified, and completely devastated. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.”
