LJ Herman

LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.

‘I could never punish anyone the way you have punished me,’ my mother texted. You are poison to me.’: Woman recalls toxic relationship with her mother, ‘I am only protecting myself’

“I love you, my long lost almost mother… My love for you IS unconditional, but your presence in my life is not. All I know, is that it hurts less when I am away. I know you hurt, and I hurt too. My plan was never to hurt you, or get revenge. However, I could not keep accepting your rejection.”

‘I’m under the impression you already know your baby is missing its left hand.’ The doctor looked mortified.’: Couple learns of daughter’s limb difference, ‘angry’ after doctor suggests termination

“I can still smell the pungent cleaner that room smelled so strongly of. My gut told me he wasn’t telling me something. I immediately saw red. Oh the tears I cried. Nothing can prepare you for news like that, nothing. I wanted to protect her. She was perfect.”

‘I was near tears, about to lose my sanity, certain I’d never forget that moment. But then that night you snuggled up to me.’: Mom insists she’ll always ‘forget’ her children’s wrongdoings

“The day you came into the world was hellfire, more pain than I ever knew I could handle. I didn’t handle it actually; I think I survived it. I remember thinking I will never forget this, even though they say you do. But then you were warm on my chest and I did. I forgot it. I will never ever forget the gold and magic I see inside you; you can count on that.”

‘I went back to work. We needed an income. I’m just going to say it, I don’t feel guilty. I love it.’: Mom enters workforce after 5-year break raising babies, ‘I still wanted my identity’

“Love makes a home, but it doesn’t keep one, and we needed an income. Is there guilt? Well, I listened to the PTA president of my kid’s school talk about how good it is for mothers to be involved. Thanks Betty! Perfect timing. Then there’s missing the baby because he’s asleep when you left, and asleep when you get home. But I’m just going to say it, I don’t feel guilty. I love it.”

‘We understand it was accident. Are you okay?’ She shook her head up and down, and squeezed me.’: Woman who grew up in foster care unexpectedly triggered by little girl, ‘I started praying’

“They were paying with a curtain. It started off by playing hide and seek. And exactly what you guessed would happen, happened. The curtains and the rods came crashing down. Sweet-Gal looked down, shoved her face into her hands and slouched down. She peeked through her fingers, and I opened my arms. She slowly walked towards me. I turned my face and started tearing up.”

‘You know what? Let’s ruin Allison’s life today.’ I couldn’t breathe. I screamed so deep my toes would curl.’: Mom turns to drinking to cope with grief after losing child to molar pregnancy

“My soul was going to jump out of my body and chase her to Heaven. Every night after my kids went to bed, I opened the bottles of whiskey. I walked in after my surgery with a bottle of Fireball. Jacob asked me, ‘Is this going to be a problem?’ I asked him why he asked me that. ‘Because you never buy alcohol to bring home. You only order drinks, not bottles.’ I’ll have many questions when I get to Heaven, but every one of them will wait until I get my girl in my arms.”

 Share  Tweet