LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.
‘A lot of us don’t got good Christmas memories. My mom couldn’t afford presents, or was too drunk.’: Woman who worked with troubled youth struggles with holiday traditions after hearing their hardships
“I tried to make a big deal out of Christmas in a very middle-American-ignorant-white-girl kind of way. ‘Let’s decorate the tree! Let’s make Christmas cookies! Kids need presents!’ To my WASPY surprise, this wasn’t well received. Confused, I asked him about it. ‘Is this another one of my white girl questions you guys tease me about?’”
Dear Friends, Don’t Wait Until The Perfect Time—Just Show Up
“I got the call at 6 p.m., left my kids with my husband, and drove the 15 minutes to her house with my socks beautifully crammed into my Birkenstocks. When your friend’s husband dies unexpectedly, when she has a baby, when she is going through a divorce, she doesn’t care if you baked the cookies from scratch and perfectly placed them on a platter.”
‘She’s conceited. She needs to get over herself. Felicia. Felicia. Felicia.’: Woman insists we ‘get lost in crushing goals and proving others wrong’ that instead we ‘crush ourselves’
“Someone judged me for not being at the same job for years like they have been. Another judged me for not getting a 4-year degree when I was supposed to, before 25. I’ve been judged for being overweight. They made me feel so pathetic that I couldn’t find one reason to like myself. I didn’t meet that person’s standards, let alone the world’s standards.”
‘No Jessica, YOU are his mom. I only carried him.’ I became a mom in a courtroom.’: Woman ‘forever grateful’ for bio mom who made her a mother, ‘My son didn’t to my heartbeat from inside my womb, but he’s laid on my chest every day since 3 days old’
“Walking in the courtroom, there were 12 other families waiting with the same excitement. Some with matching shirts, letterboards, signs, all to commemorate their special day. The judge, dressed as Woody from Toy Story, walks in to officially kick off the festivities. ‘You understand this is a permanent proceeding. He would be yours as if he were born to you?,’ he asked. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.”
‘I never let go. If I hold on tight enough, I cannot get hurt. If I dig in deep enough, everything will work out.’: Mom learns to ‘let go’ of micromanaging family, we have to ‘trust in ourselves’
“Whenever I feel anxious, I feel the urge to micromanage my family. Whenever I feel a sense of uncertainty, I feel the need to force things. I’m letting go. I’m not holding on. I’m enjoying this ride no matter what direction it takes me or how long it lasts.”
‘A lovely woman in her fifties strolled by with her cart. ‘You’d better be good. Santa’s watching!’ Pause.’: Woman encounters stranger trying to do her a ‘solid’ in Target
“How dare she put me in this position! How dare she speak those words into my son’s life! How DARE she. I spent the entire rest of the Target trip trying to conjure up the perfect retort. Who does she think she is, anyway!? I stopped dead in my tracks and started laughing.”
Why I Choose Tough Love When Parenting My Children
“I really do hope to provide the very best possible life I can imagine for them. And oftentimes… that means I say NO.”
‘I love your lips! Your lips are so full and sexy. I love bigger girls. Let’s have some ‘fun.’: Sexual innuendos woman recieves in her inbox make her want to ‘throw up’
“I block user after user after user. I never thought I’d be tired of the words ‘pretty’ and ‘beautiful’ and being told how ‘desirable’ I am (in the most vulgar ways). I’m not trying to sound conceited. If only they knew me. Really knew me. My lips mean more to men than anything else about me.”
‘Eat, drink, be merry, and avoid cousin Mary if she robs your joy.’: 4 things to remember this Thanksgiving
“Go if you want, stay home if you want. Excuse yourself if you’re tired, or it’s too chaotic. Boundary lines blur during the holiday season, and our cheer gets the best of us. Just remember, ‘We have an obligation to love everyone, but some people we must love at a safe distance.’ Send them to the kiddy table and keep yourself at peace.”
‘If I feel like this with 1, how am I ever going to survive more?’ How would I perfect another kid?’: Mom of 3 realizes in hindsight first child is ‘the hardest job’
“I remember trying to fill the time until my husband got home from work in 10 minute increments. ‘Okay, we can look in the mirror until 4:17, then we’ll walk down to get the mail. That’ll get us to about 4:30. When we get back, we can read books until 4:45. Then preheat the oven and get all the ingredients out for supper. At 5, I can put him in his swing and start cooking dinner.’ I cannot perfect my children. And that sucks.”