LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.
Mom said, ‘4 years, 7 attempts, 3 miscarriages and 1,616 shots.’
“We went in at 11 weeks to find his heart had stopped. We were done… Crushed, confused, and heartbroken. We took a break from it all and almost through in the towel. But we knew we had one embryo left. If we didn’t try it, we would have to discard it and there was no way we could do that.”
‘We sat at our kitchen table making a list titled, ‘How to spend $25,000!’: Couple adopts baby girl thanks to game show contestant earnings
“On a whim, he filled out the application to be a contestant on the show. Several rounds of interviews later, and he was flying out to Los Angeles to have a final interview and find out if he would get to play for $25,000. Well, he did! And he won! Aaron’s phone rang 3 weeks later. ‘Holly, I got THE call. They have a match for us. When can you come home? They want to talk to both of us.’”
‘I had finally been found out. The wails coming from my hysterical sister’s mouth were horrific. I had just confessed my truth.’
“There was another unfamiliar feeling sprouting through the cracks of my bruised and battered psyche. That feeling was hope. I didn’t have to be this monster anymore. I didn’t have to hustle to find my fix and I didn’t ever have to use again if I didn’t want to, I finally had a choice.”
‘The grocery store. For most people, it’s a place of necessity. For a grieving parent, it can be an emotional gauntlet.’
“I notice the cashier’s name is Grace. I smile because I love seeing any part of my daughter’s name. It’s like a little wink from her and I know she’s okay. ‘How are you doing today?’ the cashier asks. ‘I’m good,’ I say, only half lying.”
‘I couldn’t help but stand there and gaze at her with my own two eyes. She’s perfect when she does nothing at all.’
“She laid there with her AC/DC shirt on, and her new hair color she trusted me to put in her hair. It reminded me why I loved her so much.”
‘She said, ‘Would you rather not be here, or have your daughter eat formula if necessary? She needs mama here.’: Mom’s near-death experience with sepsis
“If you had waited another day, I think you’d be dead,’ my doctor said. At that point, I realized how serious this was. I had put it off, trying to fight how I felt with Tylenol.”
‘We had to accept the severity of what was done by her ex. A DHS worker pointed out her behavior. The walls she built cracked.’: Family struggles to overcome epilepsy, Crohn’s disease and sexual assault
”’I was supposed to be the sick one,’ I thought. When I sat at a grocery store with Caitlin seizing on the floor, and the 2-year-old in the cart, we truly had to come to grips with our limitations.”
Motherhood Ruined Me
“In the absolute best way possible. And I wouldn’t change it, I wouldn’t change me. Not for the world.”
‘You will not live a fairy tale. You will not be a Snow White. There is no one to kiss you to resuscitate you to life when you’ve been living with 7 men.’
“We have been fighting lately, so it’s made me ponder about marriage. I’ve learned marriage can be quite ugly. But you stay.”
‘There’s this stigma attached to parenting that for some reason, makes people think they’ll lose themselves when they have kids.’
“As if it’s going to change who they are. Some people plan it. Some people fall into it. And some people avoid it simply because they think they’re not ready.”