LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.
‘The decision I made at 19 was the biggest mistake of my life. I’m your mother.’ She told me she cried so much and thought of me every single day.’: Woman finds birth parents, 3 siblings after 10-year search
“Up until sending that email, I was safe. But now, I could be accepted…or rejected. I was like a zombie, only moving whenever my phone rang. ‘Hi Samantha.’ She expected me to be mad or hurt by her giving me up for adoption. Her voice was so soft, kind, and vulnerable.”
‘Mom, I shouldn’t have worn the green shirt for pictures. It will blend in with the green screen they use.’
“They used a green screen? WHAT?! I probably should have read some fine print. Maybe they will be ok.”
Even Though Postpartum Depression Broke Me, It Also Saved Me
“My husband displayed love, patience, and understanding as I drifted further away from the beautiful, happy, silly girl he wed that October day. But eventually, he encouraged me to face my demons.”
I Gave Birth, But I Didn’t Come Home With A Baby
“I write this for the mom about to go through this. I write this for her, so she might be able to mentally prepare for the oddity of wanting congratulations in such a sad time. I write this to prepare her for the desire to celebrate her child’s life, while she’s mourning that very life.”
‘I have no idea how many weeks I am. I never had my period.’: Woman suffers two consecutive miscarriages, urges others to ‘stop asking couples when they’re going to have kids’
“My friend said, ‘I have this weird feeling you’re pregnant.’ I laughed. ‘No way, I have not even gotten my period yet.’ Sure enough, those two lines showed up. WHAT? I immediately called my husband. ‘Are you kidding me?’ After an hour, a nurse told me, ‘You picked the wrong day to come here. Monday’s are busy.’ My husband, getting frustrated, looked at me and said, ‘I’m going to get the truck. We’re not staying here.’”
‘There’s no sperm in your semen.’ What was I supposed to tell my wife? This was the one thing she wanted in life.
“Sperm. Freaking. Extraction. Had to get naked and lay on a table. The doctor ‘numbs’ your nether regions with a shot (which HURT A WHOLE FREAKING LOT) and tells you, ‘That’s it, that’s the worst part.’ So now you can kick back and relax. LIES. ALL LIES.”
‘My husband said ‘Oh sh*t’ and I almost started dry heaving. Reality. Don’t be fooled.’
“She’s a known serial spitter!”
‘He was there the day we saw that first positive test. When we danced around the kitchen. And, when the cramping began and I watched my dreams bleed out, he was there.’
“He was there when I said I was ready to try again. When we stood in that tiny bathroom for the fourth time staring at a plus sign that seemed more like a question mark, he was there.”
‘I was rocking my crying baby in his bassinet, bubbling with rage. My hands going white from gripping the bassinet so hard. I shook it forcefully and I screamed, ‘What do you want?!”
“I loved my baby, so how could I be depressed? But I was. I was suffocating. I was literally gasping for air.”
‘My son used a hand dryer today. It was one of the proudest moments of my life.’
“Having a child with sensory issues and autism is not something I anticipated when becoming a mother, but it’s become my normal. They scare him, overwhelm him, can be physically painful for his ears, and he has had intense anxiety over them since he was a baby.”