LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.
‘Before I had my son, I had a positive pregnancy test. But then I got my period. It was heavy and painful and not when it was due. I was so confused.’
“I told no one. I still to this day, until this moment, haven’t mentioned it to anyone. This is me being open about it.”
‘We held our breath, anticipating our baby’s heartbeat. We didn’t hear anything. My doctor said the little stinker was probably hiding and prepared me for an ultrasound.’
“She didn’t need to. I already knew.”
‘When I was 16, I scribbled, ‘I’m sorry, please don’t hate me. Goodbye,’ on a piece of paper. I said a prayer that ‘If I was supposed to stick around, send me a sign.’ Just then, my computer beeped with a message from a good friend.’
“I didn’t want to burden anyone with ‘ridiculous and frivolous drama.’ I knew hurting myself was wrong, and I was scared of getting in trouble. And the biggest reason I held it in: I was terrified of rejection.”
‘I think this is something viral.’ 3 days later, her dad carried her like a limp, broken doll into our office.’: Doctor shocked by patient with ‘rare polio-like’ disease, ‘Viruses are everywhere’
“She screamed in pain whenever her head was turned. Her neck was stiff, rigid. The ER doctor called me. I nearly spit out my drink. ‘What?!’ This was almost a myth. What in the world was it doing in my office—heck, in my city?”
‘I had everything: 2 healthy boys, a brand new baby girl, a husband, a room full of baby gifts. I was unbelievably grateful. I was unbelievably satisfied. But I wasn’t happy.’
“’Maybe this is just what it’s like to have three kids,’ I thought. I cried alone. I pushed my friends away. I couldn’t connect with my kids.”
‘A mom and her son who were strangers to me walked up where I was waiting for Sam to finish tutoring. I went over to them, and peeked in the windows.’
“I almost stayed in my van. I was so close, because staying where you are is the easy choice isn’t it? But I heard a whisper, so I got out.”
‘Today I learned I am raising the kind of kid who sees a waitress drop the stack of plates and cutlery she’s carrying, and leaps out of his seat to help her pick them up.’
“I don’t care that he gets good grades. I don’t care whether or not he is popular. I don’t care whether or not he is talented.”
It would be 23 months of long, intensive research, intensive therapies 4 days a week, trial and error, and prayers before I heard my son finally say ‘mama.’
“We were told in the beginning that his autism was severe, he would never talk, and would likely be completely dependent on us for everything.”
‘Look, I have this REALLY dumb idea.’: Wife plans EPIC dinosaur announcement after miscarriage, announces 5th child
“I suffered a total miscarriage at home and we lost the baby. We were heartbroken…. and it took us some time to get past the loss of our baby, but we knew if it were meant to be, we would have another.”
I Am The Mom With Two Dead Daughters
“If that sounds harsh, it should. It’s a harsh reality.”