As a Digital Editor of Love What Matters, I'm here to pull on your heartstrings and make you smile. After spending nearly six years as a Digital Reporter for ABC News' "Good Morning America," I'm thrilled to continue sharing touching and inspiring stories that the world is so craving. We can all use more love in our lives -- now you've found the perfect place to get it.
“It was 4:55 pm. ‘I’m going upstairs to wait for her call,’ I told my family. I walked into my bedroom and flopped on my bed. My fears got the best of me. I couldn’t handle another heartbreak. There is no way we’d be chosen. How could we? We are older, we have 3 children. They wanted to help a childless couple. I laid in the fetal position in my bed, rocking back and forth, feeling nauseous. The phone rang. Was I hearing this correctly?”
“My immediate first reaction was, ‘Crap. He’s totally freaked out. Maybe I was wrong in thinking he would love this!’ Then he began twirling – in the curtains. I cringed. ‘Oh my. He’s totally not listening!’ I started to get this fiery, internal rage inside of me. WHY wasn’t anyone there to direct him?! He’s 6! I was so shocked.”
“Get ready to answer your door. Please don’t apologize. Please don’t freeze up. Please don’t clam up. Please just BE. Allow me to do the same. If you need to whine, I’m all ears. If you need to wine, I’ll bring a bottle. I’m coming over to support, help, empathize and entertain. I’m not coming over to speculate, assess, criticize or mock.”
“I had never held a man’s hand. I hadn’t had my first kiss. I was basically a tween. ‘You have to do it,’ my wife said when I waffled in terror. ‘You have to go out with him.’ I was terrified, but totally pumped. I started chatting with Carlos. Holy smokes, this was AMAZING. I was 37 years old (getting uncomfortably close to the famous 40-year-old virgin trope), virginal in almost every way, and totally inexperienced. It was a revelation! But I could just feel it. I started falling in love. Oh wow did I fall hard.”
“‘Your sister-in-law has been arrested. Her kids will be placed in foster care.’ Our hearts sank! We went to court hopeful, but scared. We bought an inmate phone card just to make the 15-minute phone call to plead our case. I was so nervous I’d say the wrong thing. ‘No, I just don’t think my daughter staying with you would be best,’ the bio mom said. As simple as that. No reason or explanation. I looked at Drue with desperation hoping he’d press the issue. He just shook his head no.”
“His ex-wife was not a fan of mine. I was his first girlfriend after their divorce and she felt she needed to protect her children. She had no clue who I was. There were times I wanted to knock her upside her head and vise versa. But we finally met for lunch to hash things out. I was nervous. ‘I am not trying to take your place. You are the kids’ mother and I in no way want to replace you.’ ‘I really needed to hear that,’ she told me. Turns out, what I needed was right before me the whole time.”
“To my surprise, a cop was just pounding on our door. Someone called about our garbage cans being by the garage door. THE AUDACITY!! I said, ‘Oh my God! TOTALLY fine, I’m sorry.’ But then I was also like, ‘Waiiiiit a sec… screw whoever called on us!’ Ok, Petty Boop. Come to my house and knock on the door – we all know each other VERY well. Then out of NO WHERE, the officer says, ‘That’s a big beehive you got there!’ I felt like someone noticed my but looked good. I love that thing so much. ‘OMG ISN’T IT AMAZING?!’ Then it clicked. How DARE you!”
“Telling myself that I CAN freed me from the hurt I was causing myself.”
“‘They died? Why?’ Ira asked, concerned. ‘What happened?’ He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me. ‘Where they go? After they dead?’ ‘You know,’ I said tickling them, ‘You two are miracles. Our babies that didn’t make it out of my tummy alive are in Heaven.’ My boys would usually be distracted by now. ‘It has streets of GOLD. There is no crying, no sadness. No families are broken…we all live together. ‘We all live together there? Daddy too?’”
“It may make people uncomfortable. It may even make you cringe. But I will never stop talking about my children who died. I usually take the high road with ‘internet trolls,’ but for some reason, I responded. I will not be silenced.”
