Devon Ledbetter is a writer and editor based in Florida. She holds a BA in English from Florida State University. She currently formerly worked as a Digital Editor with Love What Matters and has previously had works published with College Magazine and Her Campus. Her favorite pastimes include beach trips, baking, and concerts. You can learn more about Devon through her portfolio https://dnl16b.wixsite.com/ledbetter-portfolio
“‘Ian is dying. There is cancer everywhere! Did no one tell you this?!’ We made it to Hawaii. In the back of my mind, I knew he wouldn’t be coming back. I had not only lost my husband, my soulmate, and the father of my two children, but I also lost our beautiful future together.”
“A locksmith arrived and changed the locks on my house. I was officially homeless. My mom called me a few days later to tell me to come get my things, which were all in the driveway.”
“My stomach dropped… I was just getting used to talking to someone, now I have to meet them! By then Covid was in full swing, but he had already planned coffee and a walk in the park. He said, ‘How about we meet at 10:00?’ I remember asking him, ‘Oh, like a day date?’ This was getting serious – I had to put on my big girl pants, fast.”
“It wasn’t just about our marriage. Our children gained a dad and siblings overnight. Blended. Forever.”
“We went from planning final details of our wedding, to planning a funeral. We went from receiving RSVP cards, to receiving sympathy cards.”
“My house seemed unusually quiet. If you are a parent, you know this can be a dangerous sign. ‘Mom, leave!’ They covered their paper. Now I was really curious!”
“Christmas decorations this soon seemed like too much to my husband. I needed Christmas just as badly as my little girl did. Maybe we needed that tree. Crying, snot dripping down my nose, I told my husband. ‘I just want Christmas. I need Christmas.'”
“No one said anything but there was some whispering and I was asked to start coming by every 2 hours. ‘Just to make sure,’ they said. There is nothing you can do except to trust the doctors but I couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong and nobody wanted to tell me.”
“‘When can I talk to you again?’ I found him to be goofy and endearing. Playing basketball one afternoon turned into hanging out after work a few times a week. We began investing in his life outside of work. He started going to church with us and hanging out at our house on weekends. Our kids call him their big brother.”
“‘No, it hasn’t been long enough. I haven’t had enough time with her.’ I watched them drive away with her. I would always have this love for her, a love a mother carries for their child. I would always see the best of everything in her. She was the only perfect thing I have ever done. I never stopped missing her.”
