Rebecca Balfe is a former editor for Love What Matters. She resides in NYC, owning and rescuing adorable cats. She is an avid Lupus fighter and advocate.
‘I blankly looked at the doctor. ‘What does this mean?’ He replied, ‘Hope you don’t go deaf.’ They gave me a discharge note. ‘I could drop dead at any time.’
“Would you ever think a blood clot could save your life? My phone dinged with a new email from the lab, I nervously signed in and opened the attachment. ‘No way!’ I shouted out loud, was I reading this right?”
‘Doctors couldn’t figure out why I was so unlucky, they would tell my mom she was worried for nothing, kids my age are always sick. My mom knew something wasn’t right.’
“My mom noticed a hump on one side of my back but didn’t think anything of it. 3 weeks later the hump grew bigger.”
‘I finally turned to my mother, unsure of wanting to know the truth, and hesitantly asked, ‘Mom, am I going to die?’
“Before me, on a poorly lit screen, was a prognosis I never expected to read. Every website shattered my heart as I scanned the same words over and over, desperately hoping to read a different outcome.”
‘The doctors said, ‘Good luck. There is no cure.’ I didn’t think I was going to make it. My siblings were scared for me.’
“I felt so relieved when class was over. I’d quickly get in the car hoping no one would notice my mom still picked me, a 20 year-old adult, up from school. I was embarrassed and ashamed.”
‘The doctor didn’t even remember what had gone wrong. THE DOCTOR DIDN’T REMEMBER? My surgeon told him, ‘There were complications, but they fixed everything.’
“I lost 40 pounds without trying during the 6 months after my surgery. I was so sick and withering away, but people didn’t know. I just got compliments on ‘how amazing and thin I looked.’ People had no idea.”
‘It was bottle after bottle. After 32 years of marriage you would think he would have walked away because he had every reason to.’
“At that moment, I was not his. That was a feeling I never want to feel again. A partial hysterectomy ended my childbearing years. The days seemed to drift by with dark clouds hiding the bit of sunshine left in my life.”
‘Test after test doctors would tell us ‘it came back normal.’ How? Why are they coming back normal? My son seems to be getting worse, NOT better.’
“I thought to myself, ‘How long has he had this? Was it something I did?’ I had so many questions. To this day, most of my questions still haven’t been answered.”
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“The nurse quickly approached and hugged me with loving arms. She began to cry as well. I laid beside her that night. She said, ‘I’m going to hold you and cry along with you.’ And she did.”
‘Then came the email. ‘I have an oven that’s never been used. Do you need it?’ We didn’t know why she was offering us an ‘oven.’ Ours was in perfect condition!’: LGBT couple start a family through surrogacy
“The tension was palpable. Within seconds, the room was completely empty except for us. No explanation from anyone. In that moment, we both embraced each other and sobbed. Was Kimberly going to be ok? What about our son? Nothing prepared us for this unexpected event.”
‘Do you have a will?,’ my nurse asked. ‘No,’ I replied. ‘You need to get your affairs in order for your daughter, if anything should happen to you.’ What did this mean? I had failed her.’
“After writing out a will, I was wheeled off to the operating room. All I remember is waking up in a glass box with the curtains wide-opened. It was so eerie. I could hardly find my voice and was unable to move my body.”