Rebecca Balfe is a former editor for Love What Matters. She resides in NYC, owning and rescuing adorable cats. She is an avid Lupus fighter and advocate.
‘Poor kid, having to pretend two ‘apes’ are family.’ They say we are mixing pure and dirty blood.’: Woman’s second marriage to black man makes her learn ‘people don’t understand the value of love over skin color’
“Women have approached my son at the park with my husband and said, ‘Honey, where is your mommy? Do you know him? Do you need me to help you find your mommy?’ He’s assumed to be a criminal while I’m always viewed as the saint, a woman who adopted black children out of the goodness of her heart.”
‘Tell me if it’s a boy or girl! Why does a doctor have to call me?’ This news changed our entire life.’: Mom is pressured to terminate baby with Down syndrome, realizes she made the right choice and feels ‘guilt for fearing him’
“‘So, just because he has Down syndrome, you offer termination?’ She became quiet. ‘I will have to talk to the doctor and have her call you.’ Ummm..say what?”
‘Everyone disappeared. Quickly I became ‘old news’ and no one cared anymore. Everyone except my family.’: Woman becomes septic after having gallstones, is now tube fed but ‘appreciates what I have instead of focusing on what I’ve lost’
“No one visited or called or even sent a message to see how I was doing. It all started when I had an emergency C-section.”
‘It’s time to consider a lung transplant.’ I was terrified of dying before I’d started living.’: Young woman with Cystic Fibrosis fights ‘to live the fullest life I can, in the time I am given to live it’
“My parents comfort me by saying, ‘We will get through this.’ I needed oxygen pumped into my nostrils at all times to breathe. I was afraid I was dying. I’ve seen videos where they interview elderly people on their deathbeds who are asked what they regret in life. Most people regret not having lived passionately, fulfilled and happy. I believed I would be one of them if I didn’t make a change.”
‘I can hear him singing, ‘Hip, hip, hooray for Christmas Vacation.’ I can see him lighting the fireplace. Memories, never to be again.’: A year after husband’s death in plane crash, mom’s advice on surviving grief during holidays
“I can see him turning the thermostat to 68, knowing dang well it’s freezing outside and the heat should be set to 72. I can also see him baking cookies with the kids, and letting them decorate the tree. The problem is, these are simply memories, visualizations of what will never be. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
‘Lisa, marry me.’ ‘Ask me when you’re sober,’ I’d say. With enough alcohol, he’d tell me he was God’: Woman spends years with alcoholic, realizes ‘I didn’t have to stay with him to prove I was tough enough’
“Will took me to a graduation party for his ex-girlfriend. Turns out she was younger than I was. He’d started seeing her when she was underage, causing a scandal. We both had a lot to drink. By the time we got back to my apartment and crawled into bed, fueled by seeing him interact with his ex, I was determined to consummate what we had going on. I thought it would help me keep him. I did. We did. I convinced him. I woke in the morning to find he was gone. There was no note. Nothing.”
‘You are our baby!’ We bought an ornament to remember the special day of becoming Daddy and Papa.’: Dad recalls how meaning of Christmas changed after adopting baby
“I spent Christmas Day staring at Sunset Boulevard, saying to myself, ‘I wish I was back in New Orleans.’ It was my home. And in just 10 years, from that very moment of despair, my husband and I would be welcoming our newborn daughter home. Now, every choice we make revolves around her. Every holiday is about her.”
‘What makes her think I want to have kids? I’m 32!’ Her eyes bugged out at me. That conversation bothered me for the next 3 years.’: Woman declares she doesn’t want children, ‘You can have a satisfying life without kids’
“I grew up going to church 3 times a week. Every Sunday, I saw women with their children. The husbands were usually away working. I heard the word ‘struggle’ more times than I could count. I watched with curious eyes. If this was to be my life as a grownup, forget it. I wanted something different. I no longer worried ‘the right man’ would appear and voila, a baby would follow.”
‘I know you can get through this.’ This nurse was the age of my mother. She embraced me in a warm hug, and peace came over me.’: Mom recalls heartbreak as first son is born still, ‘he would’ve been an amazing human’
“The doctor was holding a box of tissues. I let out the most piercing wail. I was inconsolable. I asked my husband, ‘Can we pray?’ It was the only time I saw him break down. We both buckled at the knees. I was lead back to a corner room at the end of the hallway. A nurse was there. ‘I am sorry for your loss.’ My son had an aura around him, an angelic light radiating behind him.”
‘Don’t get too attached. You’ll probably lose this one too.’ I prayed, ‘Please find a heartbeat.’ I longed for people to rub my belly.’: Woman has ‘miracle’ rainbow baby after pregnancy loss, ‘The clouds had parted, he’s perfectly healthy’
“The surgeon oh-so-casually said, ‘While I have you under anesthesia, I can take out the IUD, too.’ Two months later, I was pregnant. I never fully understood how much I wanted to experience pregnancy until my first one ended. In couple’s therapy, tears and snot poured down my face. I tried to explain to my husband how much I wanted to be pregnant. While I was running errands later that day, I saw a rainbow. My friend’s response? ‘God doesn’t mess around when it comes to signs.'”