Amanda Doulos is a digital editor for Love What Matters based in New York City. She will graduate from Binghamton University with a Bachelor of English Literature and Spanish in Spring 2023. She loves staying involved as vice president of the mock trial team and secretary of Spanish Honor Society. In her free time, she loves reading, traveling, and spending time with friends.
“This little baby woke up a dormant side of me I had been too afraid to show to the world. I knew then that I couldn’t be the best mom to my child by living in fear. It was time for me to learn to live authentically.”
“I drank to oblivion almost every day and woke up often not knowing whose house I’d slept in until I opened my eyes. But with my wedding coming up, I wanted a clean break.”
“I thought my family and friends would be better off without me. Living with scars and all of the pain, insecurities, and fears they caused felt too hard. I felt like a burden, without purpose or worth.”
“‘At least you know she’ll be right-handed!’ the nurse joked. There was a wave of grief when I realized someone may pull back their outstretched hand when her nubbins reached for it. Education is the key out of the shadows.”
“We texted every day. I’d never met someone I clicked with as much. A part of me knew we would get married someday. I felt fully known and seen by her.”
“I needed my boys to know mommy was okay, and we would get back to normal. But nothing was normal. I still had no feeling in my bladder. I thought my life was over, but I was so wrong.”
“I saw my grandmother open our gate, place a lamp from our neighbor’s garbage next to our door. A five-foot fake tree, an actual barrel of clothing, a big polar bear with an obvious spill on it. Living amongst it all was seriously frustrating.”
“I was holding my 19-year-old face with my 42-year-old hands and tears were streaming down both of our faces.”
“I have maintained, lost, and gained the same 10 pounds over and over again. She makes sure I never give up. Knowing I am setting a good example makes it all worth it.”
“I twitched and jolted so bad it woke me up. Tears came out of my eyes just trying to get out of bed. I counted the days down to my refill, and my life felt out of control until I got it.”
