Amanda Doulos is a digital editor for Love What Matters based in New York City. She will graduate from Binghamton University with a Bachelor of English Literature and Spanish in Spring 2023. She loves staying involved as vice president of the mock trial team and secretary of Spanish Honor Society. In her free time, she loves reading, traveling, and spending time with friends.
“No mom wants anything to be ‘wrong’ with their baby. I let myself be sad for a week. After that, I got my emotions together.”
“It’s odd being THAT couple. We began to truly wonder: are children just not in our future?”
“A stranger asked my mom, ’Why would you do that?’ She didn’t expect to see a brown-skinned baby with brown eyes. I’m tired of having to explain my family to strangers.”
“I gave birth on our bathroom floor. My husband held my hand tightly, telling me it’d be okay when we knew it wouldn’t. With tears in our eyes, we said goodbye to another baby.”
“I started jerking my head and losing control of my body. I was hitting myself, swearing and shouting. I was beyond frustrated.”
“Honestly, I liked it. I liked that I was 4 months pregnant and you couldn’t even tell. I tried to breastfeed my daughter but my body was weak and malnourished.”
“Due to COVID, we were only allowed to join through a Zoom call. We sat in the parking lot and watched the doctor take two small dots and implant them into the surrogate. That faint blue line instantly changed everything.”
“My leg tore open and blood vessels were bursting. A washbasin was held under my leg because it poured out like a tap. A student nurse gagged while I tried to hold it together.”
“Where did it all go WRONG?’ My body wasn’t my own and I was apathetic towards my amazing life.”
“Here I was with a life many people only DREAM of, yet I was feeling hopeless and numb.”
