Amanda Doulos is a digital editor for Love What Matters based in New York City. She will graduate from Binghamton University with a Bachelor of English Literature and Spanish in Spring 2023. She loves staying involved as vice president of the mock trial team and secretary of Spanish Honor Society. In her free time, she loves reading, traveling, and spending time with friends.
“Summertime is a fun, lighthearted, and exciting time of the year. But there is nothing fun, lighthearted, or exciting about what summer body really means.”
“I had no idea what postpartum rage was, had no idea that becoming a mother would open all these childhood wounds, and no idea the amount of anger I had kept locked away.”
“I would have never even gone to the appointment or the mammogram if my mother did not get the diagnosis A WEEK BEFORE MINE.”
“His first opinion was to terminate baby B to give baby A a better chance. He was so flippant and casual with the idea of ending her life; I’m not sure I heard anything else he said. We immediately let him know we would not be choosing one baby over the other, and we needed to hear the other options.”
“It became apparent to me very early on this was not something you can move on from. I had to make a decision. Do I follow the ‘rules’ of grief the way society has so neatly outlined and put into a box? Or do I take the time to sit in my grief, acknowledge her, and let her consume me until I am no longer afraid of the shadowy parts of my soul? I chose the second option.”
“When Hunter was about a week hold, we noticed his breathing seemed raspy and louder than it should be.”
“I said, ‘It’s happened again,’ handing my husband the pregnancy test and rolling my eyes. I purely expected the worst to happen. But at 6 weeks, when I experienced cramping and went for an emergency scan, I was shocked to see a baby with a healthy heartbeat!”
“6 years into this journey, I don’t know what I weigh anymore because it doesn’t really matter to me now. I found the confidence I’d been lacking, and it was not in the smaller dress size where I thought it would be, but in the better quality of life that being healthier has afforded me.”
“Before her accident, I was still wet cement. While I am certain it’s solid now, she marked her little hand prints all over it. I feel her in the rainbows, butterflies, sunsets, laughter of our daughters. We will live each day to honor her as best as we can.”
“I went to my appointment thinking I just needed an ear cleaning, not that I’d leave in tears with the recommendation of getting a hearing aid.”
