“I made myself breakfast this morning at 8:30.
Hazel only woke up once last night and I wanted to be up by 7:15 to have a few minutes to myself before Finley got up to go to school.
Scout walked in the bedroom at 7:13 with a spirit-filled ‘GOOD MORNING MOMMA.’
I made myself a cup of coffee and Scout an apple juice and we sat on the couch for 15 minutes.
I heard Finley stir, which meant I needed to get his lunch box together and in his backpack quick before he got out of bed. If he sees his lunch box, he will empty it before going to school. I try to send him to school hungry so he has to sit at the table with his friends to eat his breakfast.
I got Finley on the bus at 8:15. Hazel was still snoozing, so I decided to make myself some breakfast over the classic granola bar or not eating anything at all.
I pushed down the handle on the toaster at 8:30 only to hear my precious rainbow baby wake up at that exact moment.
I pick her up, nurse her, change her diaper, and go back to my breakfast.
But first I empty my Haakaa into a storage bottle and stick it in the fridge. I notice there are 3 full bottles that need to be put in storage bags and frozen.
I go to put my newly stored milk in the freezer and realize my upstairs freezer is full. So I take some of the already frozen milk, transfer to a Ziploc bag, and take it to the downstairs freezer.
While down there, I realized it needed to be rearranged to make room for the new milk. I did a little rearranging and went to come back upstairs.
I passed my laundry room, realizing I had a full basket of dirty laundry that I could get started. I run the washer.
I realize the towels I washed yesterday are in the dryer. I grab those and bring them upstairs.
On my way upstairs, I noticed the entry way is full of mud from the storms we had earlier in the week. I grab a broom and sweep it up.
I go back to my laundry, but Scout needs a snack. So I grab her a snack and notice my food is still untouched. It’s 10:30.
I go to take a bite of my food, but Hazel starts crying to nurse and for a nap. I feed her, change her, and lay her in her co-sleeper. She takes 15 minutes to go to sleep with me standing there.
I get her to sleep and check my work email only to find 10 ‘help’ emails in my inbox. I sit to answer them.
Hazel wakes up 30 minutes later. She is a little cranky from a stuffy nose, so I sit and rock her for a little while. They are only little once. I see my towels staring back at me.
I sit on the floor beside Hazel to fold them, and when I go to pick them up, I notice a carton of chicken broth is busted in the pantry. I clean that up.
Oh, shoot. It’s 12:00 p.m. Finley will be home soon. I scramble to get lunch together for the kids. I see my breakfast. I think of sticking it in a hot pan to warm it back up, but here comes Finley’s bus.
I get Finley off the bus at 12:30. Hazel’s big nap is coming up at 1:00, so I make sure tablets are charged and ready, snacks at hand, and the bathroom toddler-proofed.
It’s 2:00 p.m. now. I am sitting here rocking Hazel. Just watching her sleep. Her sweet little mouth suckling her bink. Her hand clutching my shirt to ensure I stay close. Her tiny little body pressed against mine. God, she is perfect.
Yet, I sit here feeling defeated. I’m anxious because of the mess of toys that lay around me. The dirty dishes piled in the sink. The time I didn’t give Scout and Hazel this morning. The time just escapes me.
As we approach Mother’s Day this weekend, I challenge you to reflect on what mothers accomplish on a daily basis. Because I guarantee you we feel it’s never enough. That it goes unnoticed, unappreciated, and we end the day with a sense of guilt for the things we neglected to do that day.
Maybe we yelled at our kids too much. Maybe we didn’t give them enough of our time. Maybe we didn’t love them enough. Many scenarios of how we could have been better and how we will be better tomorrow.
I am lucky to be married to a man who doesn’t judge me or my abilities as a parent based on the state of our house.
I find myself being one of three people during the work day. A mother, an employee, or a housekeeper. Never all 3 at the same time.
Though my head is anxious most of the time, it is because my heart is so full. Never stretched. Only full, and I just want to be able to delegate my love as efficiently as possible.
To all the mothers out there (dads, your day will come), I see you. I see you hustle. I see you love. I see the accountant in you. The employee. The housekeeper. The teacher. The nurse. The chef. The coach. The therapist. The keeper of secrets. I see YOU.
Happy Mother’s Day. Keep on kickin’ ass.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Allison Lemons of Erlanger, Kentucky. Follow Allison on Instagram here. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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