“We feel we have been very guided by God in our quest to have children. My husband, Dillon, and I met after college and dated for a year before getting engaged. We got married at almost 28 and decided to wait a year before trying for kids, but about 5 months in we felt like we needed to start trying sooner, though we weren’t sure why. I naively thought that meant we were going to actually have those kids right away!
After a few months with no luck I started to worry but found out that it can take up to 6 months for a normal, healthy couple to conceive. When that time frame came and went, I really started to worry, but we waited until it had been a year before we went to a fertility specialist. We were told there was nothing obviously wrong and that we fell into the ‘unexplained’ category. I assumed that meant it was probably a fluke we weren’t getting pregnant, so we put off doing fertility treatment until, once again, we felt like we were being told by God to get a move on it!
So, we started treatment, which included taking medicine for five days and then going in for multiple awkward vaginal ultrasounds before doing the procedure, which felt like a more invasive pap smear. I again assumed it meant we would get pregnant. But then we had four rounds of medicated IUI’s fail and I was so confused. Why was God telling us to do these things that weren’t working?
We took a break for a while and then finally after eight rounds we got pregnant! We were so happy, but cautiously optimistic since we still weren’t sure what the problem was. Once we made it past the first trimester we breathed a huge sigh of relief and started thinking it could finally be real.
We picked out a name (we knew it was a girl from blood tests) and started imagining our life with a baby in it! Then we went in for an appointment at 17.5 weeks and our doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat. We were devastated!
We went to the hospital the following morning to be induced and deliver and that was one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve ever experienced. Through it all, though, we kept seeing God’s hand in our experience. There were countless reasons to be grateful to Him all just staring me in the face. I didn’t have to look for the silver lining, it was just there. I think maybe that was the most miraculous part of our loss. Through one of the hardest things of our life together we were uplifted and filled with peace through the gratitude we had for God’s blessings. It’s hard to describe how miraculous that still is to me because it would have been much easier to have been angry. It hurt so badly and seemed so unfair.
Though it was hard to always trust God through the grieving process, I clung to the hope that we could get pregnant again someday. But I do remember asking Him, ‘why?’ and my answer was ‘To give you what you wanted.’ I didn’t understand that because I wanted a baby and had lost it. Never in a million years would I have thought that He was trying to give me triplets (though I had wanted three healthy children)!
We were given the all clear to start trying again but after having no luck we felt like we needed to do IVF. It was nowhere on our radar, but we felt such an impression that we shouldn’t be putting it off. So, we let go of a large chunk of our down payment savings and took the plunge.
Things went incredibly well despite all the discomfort of daily shots, growing ovaries, and more awkward ultrasounds. After the egg retrieval, where they knock you out, but you still have a painful recovery from a giant needle poking multiple times to collect each egg, we had two good quality embryos that we transferred. I had so much peace during the process because I knew that if God was telling us to do it, it would turn out how He wanted, and that is always best.
We found out a few weeks later I was pregnant and then a few weeks after that an ultrasound showed both embryos worked! I never got sick, so I assumed either one or both were miscarrying, so when we went in for our second ultrasound and they saw a third little baby we were shocked! One of the embryos had split! As our doctor was moving from baby A to baby B, I saw a blip on the screen that looked like another baby, and thought, ‘wait, what?!’ At the same time she said, ‘Guys, I’m seeing a third.’
That was the biggest curveball of my entire life! And even though we were offered the option of reduction, we just couldn’t do it. If God had gotten us here, how could He not get us through a triplet pregnancy?
Our doctor made sure to warn me of the risks and said most likely I’d be on hospital bed rest by 26 weeks and probably deliver by 31 or 32 weeks, but everyone did amazingly well, and I stayed resting at home until our babies were born at 33 weeks 5 days!
Each day is obviously a challenge with taking care of three babies, but we’ve since figured out they all have the milk soy protein intolerance and a corn allergy, so we have switched them to a special formula that seems to be working. Now our next goal is better sleep!
But we know we did so well during the pregnancy because of the power of collective prayer and because we followed what God wanted us to do. So, keeping faith and trust during our journey was key. And even if babies still hadn’t come yet, we’d be hoping and praying still. But we couldn’t be happier with how things turned out, and we love our sweet babies who are growing and thriving!”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Danielle Robinson, 32, of North Salt Lake, Utah. You can follow their families journey on Instagram here. Submit your story here, and subscribe to our best love stories in our free newsletter here.
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