“Today I attended the sentencing for the young man that carjacked me at gunpoint in late 2022. Earlier this year, he was sentenced to 8-17 years for the drive-by shooting he participated in the following day after my car was stolen.
Today, the judge sentenced him to 4 consecutive years in prison in addition to his previous sentence for using an assault rifle and for threatening to end my life as he pulled me out of my car.
My attorney encouraged me to write him a letter. I already shared it with my friends and family, but I would also like to share it with the public:
I’ve thought a million times about what I would say to you if I had the opportunity to. Yet, here we are, and I am struggling to find the words.
I think I want to start by saying to you what I wish I could have said, but didn’t get the chance to out of fear.
I would have pleaded with you not to shoot. I would have told you that I’m a mom, a friend, a sister, and a daughter. I would have told you that you would leave my son without his mother, my sisters without their confidante, and that my friends’ get togethers would be a lot less fun without me around.
I would have told you the story of how hard I worked for my car. How I did it all by myself, and I was so proud of it.
I didn’t get to say any of that, because you took that away from me. So, let’s start from the beginning, because as I have sat here and listened to the attorneys plead your case, I think it’s only fair you know about me too.
You see, you and I are not that different. I grew up in a small town, and when I was two my mother was in a car accident and my dad was an alcoholic, so my siblings and I went into foster care.
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After living in multiple homes, several of which were abusive, I aged out of the foster care system. After high school, I had a lot of choices to make. I put myself through college and worked my tail off to be where I am in my career.
You had choices to make, too.
People like us can take our background in foster care or our dad being in and out of prison and use it as an excuse. Or we can use it to empower us, make us more empathetic, and more emotionally intelligent.
Somewhere along the line you made the wrong choice. You got caught up in the cycle that society tries to keep us in, but you and I? We deserve better than that for ourselves.
Today the judge will make a decision that will impact you for the rest of your life. However, you will still have a lot of choices left to make.
You can choose to make the most of your time incarcerated.
You can work on getting your high school diploma, try to invest in your education, and learn skills for when you are released.
OR you can choose to stay on the same path you’ve been on, in and out of the system.
I want you to know I will still pray for you. Pray for your peace, your family, and your future.
Lastly, I want you to know I forgive you and I am so very thankful you chose not to shoot.
I’m sure you’re wondering why I am so forgiving, why I am choosing to wish health and happiness for this man’s life. The truth is, I’ve been through this before.
No, I have never been carjacked prior to this, but I have had people do terrible things to myself, my mother, and my siblings. I used to spend a lot of time so angry.
I was angry at God for allowing my siblings and I to be abused. I was angry at the system for not protecting us like they should. I was angry at my biological father for choosing alcohol over his own children.
Then one day I realized that holding grudges and anger in my heart didn’t hurt them, it hurt me.
It’s not always easy, but I feel strongly that if you hold anger in your heart, there is less room for love. I find myself thinking of that statement when I feel the rage and anger boiling inside of me.
It hits me like a wave, and I remind myself that they don’t deserve to take my peace anymore than they already have.
This year will mark 29 years since my mother’s accident, which means that next year, I will have been out of the foster care system as long as I was in it. That part of my life is now a chapter, and is not the main story line anymore.
My life and my story is mine to write, and I will be damned if I let someone else write it for me.”
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Read more powerful stories about forgiveness:
After 23 Years, I Forgave My Uncle For Murdering My Father—And It’s Transformed My Life
My Dad Battled Addiction, And I Forgave Him For It Too Late
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